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19 Comments

Landing page title feedback

I have 6 options and looking for feedback on what resonates or you think is most memorable. Does it work with the supporting copy? Do you have enough of a sense of the product to keep scrolling, or even click the CTA?

  1. How everyone can defend their data.
    alt text

  2. The simplest way to know all your docs are safe.
    alt text

  3. Forget about getting hacked.
    alt text

  4. Do you know who encrypts your data?
    alt text

  5. Own your data.
    alt text

  6. Secure data rooms for privacy-focused collaboration.
    alt text

Cheers!

  1. 3

    I like Number 2. I think it is pretty straightforward and compelling. Maybe change the "Manage your files..." with "Confidentely store..." from Number 6. "data rooms" sounds jargony and I personally don't like jargon.

    1. 1

      Nice, thanks. Yeah I've been leaning towards 2. I started with 6, realised it was too jargony and started back from there. I wanted to keep in the options just to check that assumption. So this is really useful feedback - much appreciated!

  2. 1

    I like number 3 & 5! Great job on these. Do you have any feedback for our headline paperless.io?

    1. 2

      Thanks for the feedback!

      I checked out paperless and signed up to be notified. I genuinely like the look of it! ButI think the headline is weak. Next level doesn't mean anything. It isn't doing the product justice!

      Some thoughts (from someone who is not a professional copywriter):

      • Tap into something your audience really care about.
      • What's the unique thing only paperless can say and no one else?
      • Describe the outcome
      • What are some of your customers concerns that you can play off?

      A few unpolished ideas:

      • Saving trees and your precious time.
      • Go paperless in seconds and save countless headaches.
      • Boost completion rates by 3x with paperless

      Look forward to trying the product when it's ready!

      1. 1

        That is amazing thank you! We will definitely try to do that 🔥

  3. 1

    Hi Pascal, Pascal here from across the Atlantic.

    I saw from another response that you're thinking that this will be welcome for technically-minded people, possibly in the crypto space, who have a general anxiety about the lack of encryption of mainstream services like Dropbox. That's interesting.

    With some of your titles, you're hooking into an aspiration.

    You could try hooking instead in that anxiety (lack of encryption in mainstream providers) directly:

    You don't trust the mainstream document-sharing services
    Dropbox, Box, Google Drive: you know they don't do end-to-end encryption. We do. You own the keys.

    Back to this idea of anxieties: I'm trying to think of anxieties that your audience might be having in their sub-conscious that pushes them back to "not this, not now":

    • The people I'm going to collaborate with aren't going to get the point
    • The people I'm going to collaborate with are already using something else
    • The people I'm going to collaborate with won't want to dish out the money
    • The people I'm going to collaborate with aren't going to trust the encryption of Akord like they would something they've interacted with in the past they trust.

    As you can see, those aren't about pricing, and unless those anxieties are reduced (this could take time), the price will be to thing people blame as an anxiety for not purchasing.

    If you can reduce those anxieties right on your home page, that would add to the appeal, create trust.

    Another approach you could take is to imagine the situation that's just preceding them coming to your site. What struggle are they wrestling with? It's useful to come up with when statements for this exercise:

    • When I'm trying to share documents for a multi-week project but without wavering from my beliefs about cryptography, I...
    • When I've recently started a new company and I'm hiring my first collaborator, I'm looking for the platform we'll use to store our encrypted data, so I can have peace of mind and move onto other concerns about my business.

    Those kinds of "when" statements hold some insights as to how you could write a heading:

    Start the team project with proper encryption
    We know cryptography. You own the keys to your data room. Collaborate on your documents with peace of mind.

    Anyway, any of this resonate?

    Hope that helps.
    Pascal from Ottawa, Canada.

    1. 1

      Hello Pascal! Despite living in France, I still don't come across many of us :)

      There's a lot here. A lot to think over. I like where you were going towards the end with the when statements.

      Thanks a lot for your input! I will let that all sink in...

      1. 1

        Pascal, here's the article I wrote, which digs deeper:
        https://sharpen.page/jtbd/copywriting-feedback-for-akord-getting-main-headline-right/

        In particular, I propose a multi-headline approach.

        I finish on a general concern I have for the product's viability (I have doubts it will sell -- and demonstrate why) and briefly mention a possible way through. Good luck!

      2. 1

        Yes, please write back with your thoughts. I think I'll write an article today on your example. So if you have some remarks/reactions, please share.

  4. 1

    Who's the target audience for this messaging? I agree with @ksp -- "data rooms" feels to jargony. I'd rather have you tell me what you do in layman's terms. However, I may not be your target audience hence my initial question. :)

    For me, #2 resonated the most.

    For the call to action, I would keep it as "Start free" and then put "No credit card (spelled out) required!" below it in slightly more subtle text.

    1. 1

      Great, this is really valuable. Yeah I basically realised shortly after posting that the CC acronym was a mistake. I like the idea of putting it under the button. I've seen that elsewhere as well.

      To your question, we're targeting more technically minded people, probably in the crypto space, as part of the product is a crypto wallet (similar to who you would manage bitcoin) and you use this to authenticate and sign actions. This is the "own your data" angle. It is impossible for anyone other than yourself (or those you invite to a room) to decrypt your data.

      Thanks again, really appreciate it.

  5. 1

    Why would someone use this product over say Dropbox or OneDrive ?
    Is this BTB or BTC ?

    The titles seem overly technical and cold, could alienate a lot of people.
    What is the core problem you're solving?

    As a user it's the collaboration aspect that should be most import for me, at the end of the day this a tool to achieve a goal. I see so many companies highlight AI in their product as the main feature. As a user I don't care about AI I just want my problem solved. There are a lot of products already on the market that have ETE encryption, what differentiates your product from them ?

    1. 1

      Hey, thanks for your response.

      In fact most tools don't use e2e encryption. Dropbox only encrypts your data at rest and there are many points at which your data would be exposed or vulnerable in the event of a hack. We're not really talking about AI, this is securing data. The problem is data being manipulated, abused, leaked and sold.

      We provide end-to-end encryption and you even own the keys to the encryption (that bit really is technical, so we don't lead with that). With Akord you have this encrypted context, from within which it's safe to collaborate.

      1. 1

        What I meant by the AI comment is that people but emphasis on the tool rather than the goal.
        Your solution is open source ?

        1. 1

          Oh Ok, I see. Sometimes it's the technology that solves the problem and there's no way of separating that without just sounding generic... yeah it will be open source.

  6. 1

    Hi Pascal,

    You have done good brainstorming on the titles. Here is my take on each of them:

    1. Too generic. Does not convey any value. Does not stand out.
    2. I think it's not about knowing that the docs are safe. It's about keeping the docs safe. But it does not convey fully the idea of the product.
    3. It's catchy but gives no value.
    4. Technical and does not spark any interest.
    5. Personal and catchy. Does not deliver the value of the product.
    6. Too much complex. Easy to forget.

    I think a combination of 3 or 5 with some value proposition will be the right way to go.

    As much as I have understood the product, it's about storing, sharing files safely. Correct me if I am wrong.

    Here is a quick alternative:
    Share and store data in a secure way

    Share and store are the functions that as a user I want to perform
    Secure way is the value that the product adds.

    Hope it helps.

    1. 1

      Thanks so much for the feedback. Some really good points and I like your ideas. Appreciate you taking the time to write such detailed feedback :) If you ever need any feedback (I'm a designer), shoot me a msg.

      1. 1

        Thanks, Pascal. I will surely refer to you for a feedback when I need. Let's be a mutual.

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