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10 Comments

Please help me choose the wording

We're working on use-case pages for our new landing, and going to use the following structure:

---------------- A person ---- talks about the problem----------------


We say how we solve it -------- And show a preview (picture)------


We're trying to come up with the right format for the part where "we say how we solve it", and here are three options that we have (see attachments). Which one speaks more to you? (the only difference is in the text on the left)

Thank you!

  1. 3

    -> Use OneBar to automatically resolve repetitive questions.

    But please turn this into an H2. People are scanning your website and will miss this important piece of text.

  2. 2

    Hey @maxim_leonovich

    When I read the options, I didn't feel like any of them were how you would actually SAY it.

    Imagine OneBar is a person talking to the HR manager. Write as though it is having a conversation with a peer.

    Linda is annoyed that people ask her the same questions over and over again.

    If OneBar were a person, would they say that they "automatically resolve" anything? Probably not. It sounds robotic.

    OneBar would probably respond with something along the lines of:
    "Oh, that's a pain. OneBar answers those for you by checking the knowledge base first. If it can't find an answer, it sends the question over to you"

    You could give it the personality you want, e.g.
    "Ugh, I hate that. Those questions waste so much time. I answer those for you by checking the knowledge base first. If I can't answer, I'll send it to you"

    Just find your tone.

    Treat your copy as a conversation with your customer. Connect with them.

    1. 1

      Thank you, @dmontooth!

      Not sounding robotic - it's exactly what's challenging for me as an engineer and a non-native English speaker.
      Your suggestions are awesome and make total sense! Let me see if I can refactor the remaining 20-something paragraphs in the same manner :)

      1. 2

        Not sounding robotic is difficult in general. If you need help, let me know.

  3. 2

    That's interesting! The first option "You can use OneBar..." is the most meaningful and really shows value. The style of the second option "Use OneBar..." sounds more assertive and better for a marketing website, but "... before going to you" might be off-putting for someone in Human relations. In the third option "... my first line of defense ...", which kind of HR person talks like that?

    1. 1

      Got it, thanks for the response, @smirolo!

      "... my first line of defense ...", which kind of HR person talks like that?

      The idea was that these "repetitive questions" fall on you like bombs, and you have to defend yourself from that. But yeah, I've never hear HR people speaking like this, true :)

  4. 1

    @maxim_leonovich It's a bit random, but think and model OneBar, more like Stackoverflow inside slack, than Wiki inside slack. Could be a combination of StackOverflow + Wiki as well, since the interface is the same inside slack.

    1. 2

      Thanksz @sgdheeban!
      The "combination" is what we're actually going after :)

      1. 1

        great ! good luck !

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