Stagnation to preparation

In my last post, more than a year ago, I spoke about how I accidentally became a wantrepreneur. I felt that it was my lack of confidence in my skills that was preventing me from making on progress on my projects. After a lot of self-exploration, that doesn't feel like it was the real reason why I was stuck.

It's been a long time since I've built something from scratch, from the very basic idea to an actual product that people use. For a long time, I've been finding problems that people are having and imagining a solution to those problems. Features, experiences, even the copy around a product that could solve a problem.

Some of these problems ranged from energy production and storage to simple things like a directory of Halal food places. But the most challenging part for me has been sitting down and actually trying to build the solution.

I thought the problem was that I didn't have the confidence in myself to build something. While that is still true, it comes from a place of fear. I am afraid that I don't know how to build something anymore. I'm afraid that whatever I build won't be good enough for users. And I'm deeply afraid that I'm going to be wasting my time on something that just plain old sucks.

All of that might end up happening. But I'm trying to reframe the way I think about the fact that these are all solvable problems. I can re-learn how to build something, I know how to figure out what's good for users, and I can also figure out how to determine if a product adds any value to someone. These are all very solvable problems.

But it's the complicated emotions that hold me back and don't let me progress out of this hole I'm in. Every time I sit down to learn to write in JavaScript, I can't get myself to focus and put into practice what I'm learning. I can't past the idea that I'm not good enough to do this. It's hard to get past the thought that I already had my shot to be successful twice, and those didn't pan out.

So instead, I'm holding on to the thought that I just haven't found the opportunity that gives me that confidence and will help me overcome my fears. This reframing of my situation helps to an extent, but I need to keep practicing this. Instead of saying that "I don't know enough," I'm trying to say that "I'm preparing to know for next time." With that preparation, I hope to be ready the next time I find an opportunity and capitalize on it. I'm not looking for the next billion dollar company. I'm just looking for an opportunity that I can confidently build and that confidently build me. I hope that once I get my gears going, I can only continue to ride that momentum.