Struggling as a first-time founder – help!

Hey mate!

Ryan from Australia here...

So I'm on my fifth startup currently. The grind doesn't get easier, however the preamble gives me rationality and perspective.

Before I run groin first into a new project, I have always told myself that I need to be 100% happy with the worst case scenario.

I think it's important to frame things correctly, which will help with the mental side of things. Referring to your 'savings' being spent is setting yourself up for some keypad-headbutting if this money is waxed on this new venture. Allocate 'X' of your savings to invest in this startup and again, be comfortable spending all of that. Regardless of what bin this money ends up in, it'll deliver significant data on where you should go next, even if it is returning to a 9-5. Its the cost of testing your product, testing yourself etc. Its a great investment.

Secondly, give yourself a time box to operate within and what you want to have learnt at the end of every period. The anxiety for me will always come when I would function without constraints. Thats the aspect that I feel a lot of out people transitioning don't expect, which is the lack of direction that freedom gives you. You need to be more staunch on yourself than any boss would be.

Let us know how things go :)

We the men have too many issues that eat us inside and we tell no one. Does your app help men create groups where they can share experiences and learn from others how to survive through breakups, divorces, unemployment, getting fired, suicidal thoughts?
I have been thinking of creating a website and a support group for the fellow gents.

Same story here. Going through phases of serious self-doubt is part of the journey :-/

What helped me is a) not giving up and b) taking things day by day. Good days usually come after bad days, so stick in there, continue on the path, continue working on your product/company and see if you can see a trend after a while.

Things first-time solopreneurs need desperately(1) Encouragement and support, possibly a mentor or two (2) some income, maybe selling a service as some of the responders here have said, and (3) not giving up, learning a little every day. By the way, going back to 9-5 is not a failure. Think of it as a chance to noodle over how you'd do it better the next time.

Hey Ryan. I'm a fellow founder who quit my job 3 months ago. I've had plenty of downtimes during the last month where I was constantly stressed out but was able to come out of it.

The way I see it, entrepreneurship will always have a huge degree of uncertainty attached to it. And it multiplies even more when you're a first-time founder

Here's how I'd go about it

1. Imagine the worst case. What would be the situation if your savings run out & your product isn't making any money -> Going back to 9-5 would be an easy solution & trying to grow it sustainably, right?

2. What's the reason for your mental stress? If it's fear of failure then don't worry much about it as it's not going to help us get better but rather waste our productive time. It's just our mind playing tricks on us.

As I mentioned before, if it feels too stressful, it's better to either take up consultancy/freelancing on the side so that the money problem is taken care of. If all else fails, you can just go back to the job. There's nothing shameful about it :) You can come back again.

i left my job a year ago to work on a bunch of different projects. So far, I feel like it's been high highs and low lows. Some days, I'm just super productive and really excited about my path. Other days, I'm paralyzed with the stress of whether I've made a huge mistake.
Here's what has helped me:

• glad you're exercising. Find some hobby, preferably physical, that gets you out of your head/house for a couple of hours a few times a week. I climb or go for runs, but it could be a walk or reading in a coffee shop.
• get comfy with ambiguity. It will feel like everyone around you is on this path and you have no idea what you're doing -- i've just started to accept that.
• it's taken me a looong time to do this, but I think it is worth coming up with a back-up plan of what happens in case "this" doesn't work out. Hopefully you don't need it, but I did think brainstorming it helped me out.
• try to meet other founders/freelancers. Startup/freelancing is a lonely journey, and there are many people who feel the way you do.

Hey Ryan,
I think you must have researched about your idea and had a survey with potential users.
If it's not the case, then also it's okay.
Don't worry, Try to work on the startup for 1-2 months, fully focused, forgetting that you had a job in your hand.
Even if it doesn't work out, companies respect warriors like you!
Keep doing the great work.
Cheers! 🥂

Hi Ryan,

my experience is not really comparable since I am younger and do not have to deal with the same pressures. But I know the feeling of what am I doing? nobody is going to pay for this, all too well. What always helps me as well as the much-given advice to take everything day by day. Is to seriously think about all the possible series of events that can transpire, and ask yourself in which circumstances you would actually regret pursuing your project. At least for me I always realize that even if the project is a fluke, no one uses it, and it did not come out the way I wanted. I still would not regret building it. the only circumstance that I would really regret is if I gave up on my ideas.

I hope this helps the best of luck to you.

Hey Ryan,

I would recommend finding another thing in your life really challenges you physically. I'm not just talking about working out.

For me, that's training for my first full ironman. When you exhaust your body physically every day, then the business-related issues seem minor. Swimming 3 miles in an open lake will really help take your mind off things!

It sounds like a great product. One I might be interested in myself. Keep at it, stick to a routine, and my tip would be to challenge yourself outside of work with an extreme physical activity.

Train for a triathlon, practice jiu jitsu, train some other martial art, etc.

Sincerely,
another Ryan Randall

It is not an easy road, but I am sure you will manage. Look after yourself. Set and achieve goals. Read, watch success stories for inspiration. Community here is quite helpful too. Use it!

Hey Ryan,

1. You know this but I'm gonna say it anyway - your health (physical & mental) is worth so much more than your business. Going back to a 9-5 is NOT failure & being an entrepreneur is NOT the only way to have a fulfilling life.

2. Nobody will look down on you for not succeeding on your first try. Most entrepreneurs only succeed after multiple failures. And the only people that might have never (and will never) tried it themselves. So f*** em.

3. This feeling you have is normal. It's part of being an entrepreneur. It's like being a parent - you'll never stop worrying about your children. And for entrepreneurs, their child is their business. It's why (unfortunately) the rates of mental illness & suicide are so damn high in the community. It's why you should not view this as such a big deal - you can always go back to a job & try again another time (or never).

4. Whether you succeed or fail at doing this full-time, it doesn't mean you have to stop helping men with their mental health. In a very "The Obstacle Is The Way" approach - this experience you are having will help you understand others' struggles even better & will help you become better at helping others.

Hope this helps.

Best
Chris

How long do you still have savings for?

If less than 6 months. Find a client that pays your bills but still leaves you with enough time to work on your startup.

You'll fail anyway. The question is when you'll get to that point and try again. (Not meant to put your hopes down but just realistically, it's very hard for first-time founders to get a hit immediately. Doesn't happen a lot.

it can get better if you change your attitude. Investigate why are you filled with dread.
is it because you are afraid of failure? what exactly would happen if it fails you will still be the same there is no physical harm if you fail or succeed. You will be winner irrespective of success or failure. If you succeed it is good if you fail you have learned what not to do next time so take a broader view of the journey its a marathon not sprint treat it as it is.

Relax - Its easier said than! I am a healthtech founder myself, I was in a similar boat few years ago. When I left my employer moved to Cobra insurance, I was freaking out with savings vanishing etc.

-Find someways to sell early, not only it'd bring peace but will help you boost confidence.
-See if you can ask some friends who might want to put money in your startup as angels/friends and family etc.

Hope this helps, happy to hop on a Zoom and talk, my social is Mehulagarwal7 and DM's are open

Mehul

First, take a deep breath. Then, step back from your worrying and think about what you are worrying about. You'll realize that you're overthinking, and this will help you relax. Exercise and meditation can also help reduce stress, so that's another thing to try if you need it. After that, make a list of the tasks you want to accomplish this week. Probably those will mostly be development tasks—building the product assuming that you haven't released it yet—but don't forget about marketing too! If you keep iterating on your product and improving your marketing strategy, then all the best!

Hi Ryan,

Since 2010, I have founded two out of 12 successful companies. Currently, I am running a profitable SaaS company with $1.5 m in ARR as CEO and Founder. Let me share my own experience on this topic.

When I started a new project without any expectations, I was already ready for failure and did not feel any pressure or frustration. I thought: Hm, it looks interesting. Is there a chance I can learn something new and gain experience? And even more - get some money too.

This viewpoint helps me enjoy the process, not feel pressured, and not be disappointed most of the time. When there are no expectations, there is no pain. Persistence, curiosity, and desire are all it takes.

Also, I have experience starting a company when I was confident that the new project would be successful. I had a big dream and a lot of expectations. I was always afraid of something going wrong, and it was.

Answering your question, I would say - NO. Furthermore, as you become more successful, you will have to deal with bigger and bigger problems. Therefore, the only thing you can do is change your perspective. Don't expect anything, focus on the process (not the result or outcome), and enjoy your journey.

I hope my experience will be helpful.

First of all relax. Take a step back and calmly think about what you are worrying about. You'll realize you are overthinking. Exercise and meditation should help. Then create a simple breakdown of tasks you want to achieve. Set goals for the week. Probably it's mostly developing the product assuming you haven't released it. Keep iterating. All the best!

It can be overwhelming because you might start to realize the road is longer than expected. We all are super excited at the start but can be depressed when we realize this.

Entrepreneurship is a rollercoaster. It comes with very low lows when everything does not work, and with very high highs for successes.

What you should do is forget the road might be long, but be obsessed with your first small success: How to I get one person to pay for my app? It should be your only focus, and your first customer will be the best motivation to keep going. After one, you get 2, then 4, etc...

Sometimes it gets better. :-)

I’m interested in being your customer, as a man with a therapist.

Please accept that being an employee or an independent developer both have pros and cons. You’ll find out what suits you more, but you should give it some time. Imagine if you had never quit your job, you would not have had this opportunity to find out. As a developer, you will always find some way to make money, even if your current project doesn’t work out the way you want it to.

Don't worry, any big change takes time. Just be focus, i think your application has a great value for us men, we have to face a lot of stressful situation, and stay strong despite everything, congratulations for having done step, and good luck for the next

I'm in the same boat as you Ryan. I feel for you. Here's what I've done, if it helps.

I left my job about 3 weeks ago now and have been hammering away at getting sales and developing a structure for the business to run with little required attention.

My wife has a job, but we have two kids and very little money at the moment.

What I've found to pull me out of my funk is the idea that; if all else fails--I can always get another job. And if I do have to get another job, there's nothing stopping me from continuing to develop my brand.

You got this far. If you have to pick up a job to contribute to your bills eventually, don't consider that defeat. Consider it an inconvenience that you'll eventually push past.

Have faith my man. You've got this!

Fear of failure is natural and healthy I think. If you truly believe in your idea, or at least truly want to be an entrepreneur, then you've made the right decision in trying. Better to try and fail than never try at all.

Since becoming a founder, and working completely remotely I've suffered with motivation and stress. I say take that and put it into what you're creating. There are 1000s of other founders struggling with the same issues,

Ryan,
This seems to be relatable. I also left my job (long time back) without any backup plan. I wanted to create a product based company (startup) but had no money in the bank account.

The stress of not having a fix income can be intimidating. But I started doing Freelancing along with my side hustles.
Sure the money wasn't that much, but I was able to earn for my day to day expenses. It took time but freelancing helped me to stabilize my mental and physical health. You can also start working on some side freelancing projects to get things going while you get your app ready for public.

One other way that you can try to get some confidence is to share your product (however it is) to public and start connecting with your target audience. This will give you good feedback and help you destress.

Regards
Anshul

Ryan,

This is a situation that would stress anyone out. It sounds like you're taken aback by how you feel, but I can't imagine anyone taking this route without feeling an onrush of anxiety. I'd recommend facing this anxiety head-on and giving yourself whatever time/resources you need to deal with it. The normal routines may not be enough, and that's okay.

I think it would help your company and your mental health tremendously to get some money in your pocket. Any revenue at all is going to feel amazing and help you feel more secure with your plan. When making a product, the upside is scalability, but the downside is the time and effort it requires to get there. It could be months before you make money from your app and years before it can sustain you financially. Years after that, it could make you a millionaire, but the point is, it's a long-term thing, and that's not exactly what you need right now.

I would highly recommend selling services so that you can get some sales immediately. You can sell coaching/consulting services from your app or on your website, social media channels, etc. This will still fit the same niche you're in, and it will also help you better understand the people your app is designed for.

I know you probably want to work on your app all day, but some compromises are likely needed. Being your own boss does mean you get to do what you want, but at the same time, what you do is always dictated by the needs of the business.

I think proper planning(to-dos) and ensuring small wins frequently will benefit a lot.

Very recognizable!

What you might experience right now is the Valley of Disappointment; a period where we see little progress and all our efforts seem to be worthless. This is because we often think that progress is linear, but the results may come exponentially. You can find a visual representation of this phenomenon here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91ugwxmjabA

What helped me is making a clear distinction between my efforts and desired outcomes. Ultimately, only your efforts fall within your circle of influence, but you can never be sure you get the outcome you want, since there are countless variables. As long as I felt like I was productive and put in effort, I stopped worrying about the money aspect and failing.

For something like this I imagine a coach might help. Someone you can be accountable to, set a weekly goal, and get a buzz from finishing that goal. And if you don't finish you can do some analysis of why. You may or may not end up dong well money wise, but you can try to manage/control the YOU bit of the equation.

You don't need to pay the coach, you could 2-way coach for free someone else in the same position. So you help them stay on their goals and vice versa.

Hi Ryan,

I'm also new business founder and thing which keeps me anxiety under control is planning my upcoming days. Put on paper what you want to do each day and what will be your minimal achievements, but also stretch goals. It's important you keep your expectations realistic. For example, one day I will write and publish one blog post, or today I will attend that meeting and follow up X number of emails.

Also put longer plan in place with action plan if you reach your goals, or backup plan in case of failure. For example, in next 3 weeks I will onboard X number of users to the application. If I succeed then I will increase my targets. If I fail, I will take freelance gig for 3 months to keep my business alive.

So far, this kind of things helped me to know where I am with my plan and what should be my steps in short, but also long term.

Once your application picks up traction things will be easier for sure.

Good luck!

Hey Ryan, I hear you I battle these thoughts everyday. Here's the most important thing I was told when embarking on this journey that I think about each day:

When expressing thoughts of perceived failure I was told that returning from a "failed venture" actually only increases how I'm regarded in the eyes of colleagues and bosses. They value the risk, business acumen and motivation that you are currently embarking on. Remember that, there is no failure, only lessons learnt!

Went through the same thing. It does get better. Just take each day as it comes and try not to think too far into the future. I know that’s hard because we’re told that’s all we must do, plan ahead, prepare for the worst but what worked for me was to just figure out what needed doing that day or that week. It helped calm my anxiety enough for me to then start focusing on big-picture stuff a few months down the line.

Some people are just not cut out to be full-time entrepreneurs - that may sound harsh but it’s true. I started my website design business almost 7 years back and it was so stressful – exactly like you say. I couldn’t deal with it and went back to my 9-5 while still running my business on the side. It was the only thing that worked. I needed the stability and security of a paycheck to make me a more mentally stable founder.

Hi Ryan, failing is part of your personal development. Never be scared about that, but always believe in what you are doing. If you do the math correctly, you will win.

For example, I am working on era.sh - a markdown note-taking tool for developers which focuses on simplicity and privacy.

We started this project 2 years ago while having a full-time job. It has been intense for 2 years, with 60-70h + at least every week. Now we are close to launching it.

I was aware that it not going to be super easy, but I needed to do some sacrifices. For my future. I have a pretty straight forward routine. I wake up everyday 3h before my full-time job, work 1h on ERA, do 1h sports (before I did not do sports) and after work, I work at least 3-4h and end the day with a walk for calming down. This kept me going.

I hear you @ryanthemaker. I've been there and I'm telling you, it will certainly get better. But it doesn't necessarily mean that your products will be successful; they might or might not be, but it is not the point.

It looks like by building your products, ProMen a productivity and mental health apps, you are hoping to solve your own problems. First pf all, it is helpful reflection, to realize that, and also, it is a good sign that many other people have similar problems, and therefore, your products do have a sizeable market.

Also, you are saying you had your ups and downs with your 9-5 job, so why do you think that being a founder should have only ups but not downs? Sure enough, being a founder is a certain recipe for having ups and downs! This is the nature of the beast, and of course, of anything else in our lives, - jobs, projects, relationships, family life, etc. We always have ups and downs and now you are experiencing one of those "downs" as a founder. It is normal. It means that you'll climb up.

And here is another thing: the best motivator and up-lifter is success, even a tiny one. Try to chip-off a tiny mini-project from the mountain of your two apps, which you are building, and complete it. Maybe you could come up with a super-quick MVP (minimal viable product) version of one of your apps, say the mental health one. Or maybe you can narrow-down the huge area of knowledge of mental health to mediation only, or to whatever sub-topic, which you could enable super-fast. And preferably, you might come up with a couple of those super-small & super-fast projects easy to implement within a couple of weeks. @dvassallo calls them "small bets". It is a super-helpful approach for founders. It is sort of a mental health approach for founders to prevent those "downs", and if they do happen, then to climb up from them as fast as possible. When you accomplish one of those small bets, it will uplift you up from your "down", and will propel you forward like nothing else.

Keep going! Good luck!

Hey, Ryan! I just saw your post on the IH newsletter. It can be overwhelming at times, but I do think that feeling like this is a part of what you're doing. I felt like this often and still do at times, but for me personally it's not as hard as it used to be. You'll see on the run if that's something you want to handle or not. Be patient with yourself :)

Based on your text, it's been a week and it seems like the uncertainty is making you question your decision and catastrophizing. A few simple things that have helped me in the past, it might do the same for you:

• Using the best case scenario / worst case scenario frame and just accepting it (seems like you're having a hard time with the possibility of returning to a 9-5, but it's actually ok);
• Use the cognitive reframing on this matter. What's a fact and what's a thought you have? Are there alternatives? (i.e. it's been only a week, isn't it rushed to infer that it will work out financially or not?; is there a perspective that you win just by doing this (learning, improving yourself, knowing you had courage enough to try)?);
• Work on the concept of what failure would be and separating business failure to my identity (meaning: my business could fail financially and it's one of my attempts that failed, but that doesn't mean I'm a failure);
• Use the "locus of control framework" in order to focus on what I can act on. This really helps me not going in circles and ruminating too much.

I hope some of it will be useful for you too! Best,

Hi Ryan,

I feel for you. As a fellow entrepreneur who has dedicated last 2 years on my startup and not earned any money for this entire duration (living on my wife's salary), here are a few tips on how to cope with the doubt. But of course, this is my second startup with a successful exit of the first one where I didn't earn any salary during its life of more than 2 years either.

1. Constantly validate your product idea with potential customers and prospects throughout the development cycle. This is the most important factor for validating the product's market fit. But of course, this will also help you boost your confidence in your product idea.

2. You have taken the first step of talking about your fears. Share this with your friends, family and all the well wishers. The least you will get from them is sympathy but you never know - you may end up with a curious prospect or an investor.

3. Don't forget Paulo Coelho's quote

   " When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

4. And nobody says you need to spend all of your 24 hours on this startup idea. A truly successful business idea is not driven by market window timing but by the value it adds to the customer. So, go ahead a take up a part-time gig for a few hours a day if it is required. At the end of the day, its better to delay a product introduction than to give up.

5. Constantly work on recruiting others to this effort. My startup earns no money, pays no money but have over 10 people working either part-time or full-time for equity only for last 1-2 years. If I can do it, you can too.

All the best. You can reach out to me privately if you need any further insights.

Deepak