Landing Page Feedback February 20, 2020

Tear my Landing Page Apart

Jasmine Sanchez @StartupJas

Context: We are a startup that is officially launching on Kickstarter in May. A big objective for our landing page is to give more context behind our product and gain some new newsletter subscribers.


  1. 3

    @StartupJas Bring your 'About' to the Landing Page...tell your compelling story, maybe via video. You're going to need to sell 'you' first and the science second, imho.

    The site, overall, looks good on desktop. Easy to navigate and it wasn't difficult at all to figure out the context of your product.

    1. 1

      Got it! Very helpful. Gonna work on shortening my 'about' story as well. Thanks!

      1. 1

        No problem! 👍

  2. 2

    Hi @StartupJas congrats on-going live, have summarised my thoughts on the landing page here


    1. 1

      Wow, thank you for the feedback! I really appreciate that you even showed me some landing page examples of other sportswear brands. I have a lot to work with from your review.

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        Glad it was of help, do reach out to me if you want to brainstorm on it.

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    Personally I’d probably decrease the font size on the About page at least a little bit and divide it into fewer more easily digestible blocks of text.

    In the blog section the post block itself has no padding on the bottom, same for the Contact part.

    Also in the stay connected form you have an “Accept t&c” bit but where are the t&c, because for all I know you’re selling my email on. I doubt you are but you get my drift.

    I’m on safari on iPhone6 btw so obviously some of those things might be just browser related.

    Great work so far either way and good luck!

    1. 1

      Haha someone else also pointed out that there was a t&c button at the bottom of the contact page and it didn't even cross my mind, oops! Definitely agree with you regarding the about page - could def be shortened. Thanks so much for all the feedback!

  4. 2

    Sounds exciting! A quick display issue on my MBP (1280 x 800) the contact button isn't is outside the nav

    1. 1

      Hmm. Thanks for pointing that out. Will check it out!

  5. 2

    I think the page looks nice. I like the clean, modern layout.

    You do a nice job of clearly communicating up front what the product is. And being able to claim world's first is a nice way to differentiate and add excitement.

    With that said, I do think there is some things you can do to improve on it and make it even better.

    The CTA button gets a bit lost. On my laptop screen it falls below the fold. I would move it up higher and change the color to something with more contrast that stands out. I would also explore some options for the button copy. I suggest starting with a verb to make it more directive and clear what the button is for.

    I would also get more specific on the form it leads to. "Write us" is a bit of a disconnect from waitlist. Instead, use that space to tell people why they should get on the wait list. Even something as simple as "Get on the waitlist and you'll be among the first to..." I would also change "submit" to something more specific like "Add me to the list" or something of that nature.

    The features you highlight are all good things to point out. A few copy tweaks will make them stronger. For instance, quality is a bit of a wishy washy term. Everybody claims their stuff is high quality, but what does it mean exactly? How do you define it and measure it? What does it look like? I would replace it it something more concrete and specific.

    I would also translate some of those features into benefits. Speak to why people would want this. How will it improve their lives or solve their frustrations? One of the easiest ways to make your copy more benefit focused is to replace the "our"s and "we"s with "you"s.

    Good luck on the launch!

    1. 1

      This was super helpful. Thank you!

      1. 1

        You're welcome.

  6. 2

    Hi @StartupJas,

    Firstly, congrats on building a world's first hydroshirt.

    Landing page feedback:

    1. The website doesn't fit well on an iPad.
    2. I guess your core value proposition is a hydration pack, I would try and create a video on refilling the hydration pack and putting it back into the hydro shirt and strapping it up.

    All the best for your launch.

    1. 1

      Thanks for pointing that out. I'll try and fix that issue. Great idea! We'll def be adding some motion graphics or a short video explaining to customers how the product will be used. It will also be a big component for our Kickstarter. Thanks for taking the time and providing me with feedback!

  7. 1

    I really like the site and the idea.

    My biggest complaint is around the "wait list" button. You need to draw some attention to it. Make it more urgent. Wouldn't hurt to maybe offer a special discount or early access .

    The thing I liked the most was the backdrop of the hero image matches your logo. Which is a good thing because to be honest the logo reminds me of something for off road vehicles or slippery road sign. I might rethink the logo.

    I also liked that as soon as you scroll down you get to the value proposition of the product and real pictures.

    In the future you could add some data. Like on a X degree day you sweat X amount of water. or improve your running times by X by being well hydrated etc.

  8. 1

    Will do. Meantime can you backlink to us form your post. Every little helps :)

  9. 1

    Wow! Thank you so much to everyone who provided feedback. I'm currently in the process of reviewing and will respond/comment one by one. (: