The mind trick for when you feel like sh*t

Say you have a friend that's working on a startup. They're smart and driven and have a good idea. But they've yet to make their first dollar and doubts are creeping in that they'll never actually make it.

What do you say to that friend? Probably not "You're not cut out for this startup stuff anyway." You'd probably encourage them with something like "You're smart! Keep going and you'll figure it out."

Well, it turns out that you are that friend. And the way you talk to yourself is super important.

When you're not getting traction, it's easy for thoughts like "What if this is a waste of time?" and "What if I never make it?" to slip in.

The most helpful solution I've found to these unproductive thoughts is loving-kindness meditation. I know, sounds woo-woo. But it works.

Most people know about the benefits of meditation (are you even in tech if you don't?) Loving-kindness is a kind of meditation, where you basically practice being nice to yourself.

In practical terms, this means sitting down for about 20 minutes, closing your eyes and repeating good wishes for yourself, such as, "May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live with ease."

You can add in other wishes as well, such as, "May I accept myself regardless of my accomplishments."

And while this sounds easy, it's taken me a long time to honestly wish those things for myself. Saying those phrases felt selfish at first, but gradually I've come to realize that the kinder I am to myself, the kinder I am to my wife, kids, friends and even strangers.

To learn more, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Chris Germer is a great book on the topic. He has guided meditations on Youtube as well. Kristin Neff and Tara Brach are two other great resources for learning loving-kindness meditation.

Hope this was helpful! Let me know if you have any questions.