The past month has been… a lot.

What felt like an endless search for ways to make more money, being in low demand on the job market, work turning into pure routine, a pile of debt, a brutal monthly mortgage payment, and a complete reassessment of my life experience…

And then my oldest kid asked:

“Dad, when are we finally going to go to the sea?”

That one finished me.

Against all of this, there were thousands of thoughts - the kind you’re ashamed to share - and they started eating me alive. Literally, it feels like that now, because my body has started to break down. I’m not going to a doctor - last time they found nothing. I’m not going to a therapist - I’m ashamed, and I can’t afford it. And I’m ashamed that I can’t afford it. Hell, I’m even ashamed of being ashamed. It’s a loop.

I tried to deal with it on my own. The way I know how. The way I was raised. The way I was taught.

And I held on. Barely.

Held on until my next visit to the barber. Because once a month, that’s the only place I can switch off a bit - talking about shows, books, and random “guy stuff.”

I sit down in the chair and notice a phrase stuck on the mirror in front of me.

"Are you realy fine?"

It described exactly how I felt.

Damn. Right on point.

I spent a whole hour staring at that reflection - at a version of myself that felt completely broken - and for the first time, I said nothing. Just sat there thinking.

How many of us are like this?

How many of us are out there, fighting our demons alone?

How many men don’t dare to talk about their problems - not even with others, but with themselves?

How many of us actually need help?

And how many of us answer the question “How are you?” with “I’m fine”?

Because we’re convinced no one really cares - and that those words don’t actually mean anything.

So why am I even writing this?

By nature, I’ve always handled everything on my own.

But it’s led me here - to a point of complete emotional burnout - where I’m building an anonymous (as much as technology allows) self-help service for men.

No “hang in there.”

No pseudo-spiritual nonsense.

Just something real.

Yeah, it’s a stigmatized topic. But this turned out to be the only real way for me to get through what feels like a midlife crisis. Some people get a mistress. Some buy a motorcycle. Others… build something like this.

Menhausen - anonymous digital self-help tool for men. 60-second cards based on scientific methods. Right in Telegram, no registration required.

Feel free to judge, troll - whatever.

I’m not exactly the therapy type myself (honestly, I doubt I’ll ever go).

But if you feel like supporting it - I’d appreciate that too.

So…

Anyone else here who’s “fine”?