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10 Comments

Wait, am I starting a f#$*in' landing page copywriting service?!

Hey Hackers,

UPDATED: Went with a more traditional landing page.

I spend a lot of time in #landing-page-feedback, trying to give feedback on how to write landing page copy that converts.

I decided to go ahead and start a landing page copywriting service for anybody who needs

  1. 3

    I read this in my phone. If I'm too harsh or anything, I'm sorry -- but you're the one who specifically asked for it ;)

    So here are my impressions:

    It starts strong. Immediately I knew what this website was all about. But with every further "paragraph" I thought the message was getting more and more diluted. Somewhere around the 5th or 7th section I would have stopped reading if I weren't there specifically to review it.

    The constant changing of font, font size, appearance, spacing, just didn't suit me. I looked amateurish to me and didn't help me focusing (which I think might have been your goal by giving my small and identifiable tiny sections of text? Failed.)

    The smallest text font was quite small compared to the rest.

    To be frank, I didn't really succeed reading until the end although I remember you talking more or less of being a software developer constantly interested in copywriting and presenting that as a kind of "coming out"? I'm not sure, I was just reading diagonal by then and quickly got to the form at the end.

    To be clear, I am NOT saying you lack talent. I can see the potential, but as it stands now, I don't think you have a winner.

    I think you need more focus. I think you need a hook very early in your story if you want me to keep reading further because I'm getting quite bored by the time I make it there.

    I'm not inclined to buy such services because they always feel cheesy, but I thought yours seemed like a legit service and I didn't feel like it was trying to trick/pressure me into buying, which is good I guess :)

    If you find the right voice, I think you will make money. Good luck!

    1. 1

      Updated to a more traditional approach. Slimmed-down the copy and added some visuals:
      https://www.connectconverseconvert.com/

    2. 1

      Thanks @headofficeonabike. This isn't too harsh at all. It's good feedback. I was honestly bracing myself for worse with such an experimental approach.

      I wanted to see how far I could push it. Looks like I figured that out :)

      I have a more traditional landing page coming soon. I'll post and keep this one live for posterity.

      Thanks for the feedback!

  2. 1

    It's a very long wall of text. The start is good but then it becomes worse. I want a clear message, a call to action hot to fix my problem. IMHO the first bad thing is this "I want to help you get more conversions, but first I want to get something off my chest..." and then this wall of text that is a bit difficult to read.

      1. 1

        Hi, imho this is very good and easy to follow. It looks like you try to solve e real problem, the whole message is straightforward and to the point.

    1. 1

      Thanks @PawelDubiel. I appreciate the feedback. I have another version coming. Something more traditional.

  3. 1

    It's a little wide on my ultra-wide Surface Studio.

    This feels comfortable:

    @ media (min-width: 1440px) {
      main {
          padding: 2rem 6rem 1rem;
          max-width: 60vw;
      }
    }
    
    1. 1

      Good call. I set it to 40vw and tested it via emulator, which isn't a great option. Guess I have to get a Surface Studio... I'm developing on a Surface Pro so it's a big difference. Good reminder to test on as many devices as possible.

      1. 1

        Love it, but it's probably about the same CSS as you'd want on an iMac.

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