What do you think of my landing page?
In trying to improve my company’s branding, I made some edits to the landing page. What do you think? I could use the feedback.
I’ve been offering operations management services for about a year now, although so far it’s just been through my network, mainly due to the opaque description on the landing page and lack of time to properly market it - both things that I’m trying to improve now.
Be as blunt as you want! I’m great at what I do - branding, not so much… :)
Honestly, I would start over from scratch.
The hero area doesn't do anything to draw users into the page or even give much of a clue as to what the page is about. "Make Great Better" is such an abstract line that it doesn't mean anything. There's no context. And I don't understand the image. What does that have to do with the headline? Are you somehow adding extra time to the day? Will things take longer?
Start with your biggest benefit or selling point. And put it in terms that are as specific and concrete as possible. If using an image, make sure to fits with the message. You should also include some sort of call to action or directional copy in that hero area somewhere so people know what it is you want them to do.
Next, don't make the page all about you. Make it about the user. Replace the "we" statements with "you" statements. That's what people care about.
Also, try to stay away from corporate speak. I know you're in the B-to-B space, but business people are still people, and it's more effective to use a conversational tone. Take this sentence for instance, "We help our clients build a robust process as their foundation and a long term culture for improvement, allowing employees of all levels to reach their goals."
Who speaks like that? What does that even mean? Imagine you are talking to a single person who represents you best customer. How would you explain things to him or her? Or better yet, if they had to explain it, what words would they use?
Finally, if the goal is to generate leads, then I would consider including a specific offer rather than just a general inquiry form. Perhaps something like a free, no-obligation consultation or needs assessment could work?
Hope that helps. Best of luck.
IDK any of these terms, do you target audience know?
"operations management" - is that part time COO?
"management consulting" - is that advisory for C level?
"be more efficient" - so generic, still don't know what this is. Normally I'd quit at this point.
"Instead of putting out fires" - all we do is talk about dealing with fires.
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Reading the rest
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You are a 20% part time COO (as much as one can be as an outside consultant), 50% coaching