What parenting books impacted you the most?
Hey IH parents,
As an aspiring IH, I'm always balancing between the ambition of building my own venture(s) and the attention my family needs.
My attitudes and beliefs towards parenting have changed significantly since I became a parent. That was almost 6 years ago. With 3 kids today, I'm just glad that books have exposed me to new ideas and philosophies.
Which books have had a greater impact on you? Many things influence your own situation and views of the world so there's no real criteria other than the impact on you.
Here are mine:
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"The Myth of the spoiled child", Alfie Kohn
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"El cerebro del niño explicado a los padres", Dr Álvaro Bilbao
(translation, "The child's brain explained to parents")
I'm starting this book but given the talks I've seen from Gabor Maté, he's had already a great impact on me.
- "Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers", Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Maté
and after that I'll dive into:
"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk"
Curious to add new books to the read list.
I'm currently reading books within the "RIE" school of thought.
A good, but very dumbed down start in that topic would be - "No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame" and/or "Elevating Child Care".
The philosophy is coined and popularized by Magda Gerber (one of the most prominent European child educators) and Emmi Pikler (a famous pediatrician/researcher).
These books are more on the practical (how to) side of things.
As for the complementary material that is more on the scientific side (and supports the mentioned philosophy) - "The Whole‑Brain Child" and "The scientist in the crib". The latter is written by Alison Gopnik who is one of the pioneers of developmental psychology.
Wow..first time I hear about RIE. Exploring it further. Thanks.
Gopnik's newer book, "The Gardener and the Carpenter" is also quite good -- though I didn't find it to be that valuable because I already agreed with most of her ideas, so the value add/ROI was not that great.
But I do really like the analogy she uses, and think about it often:
“In the carpenter model, being a parent is like being a carpenter. You should pay some attention to the kind of material you are working with, and it may have some influence on what you try to do. But essentially your job is to shape that material into a final product that will fit the scheme you had in mind to begin with. And you can assess how good a job you’ve done by looking at the finished product. Are the doors true? Are the chairs steady? Messiness and variability are a carpenter’s enemies; precision and control are her allies. Measure twice, cut once.
When we garden, on the other hand, we create a protected and nurturing space for plants to flourish. It takes hard labor and the sweat of our brows, with a lot of exhausted digging and wallowing in manure. And as any gardener knows, our specific plans are always thwarted. The poppy comes up neon orange instead of pale pink, the rose that was supposed to climb the fence stubbornly remains a foot from the ground, black spot and rust and aphids can never be defeated.”
That's powerful!!!! Expresses so well how I started parenting. Yup, as a carpenter.
Will need to look into this one as well. Thank you.
I really liked "Whole Brain Child" by Daniel Siegel.
His other books, No-Drama Discipline and The Yes Brain are also very good.
I haven't had much luck with other parenting books.
Thanks. Looks super interesting.
I came here to say 'Hold on to your kids'.
Also, as an unschooling family and a believer in self-directed learning, books by John Holt and Peter Gray (books and online articles).
Thank you Rosie. I remember we spoke briefly about that book. Will look into the other authors.
Carol Dweck (Growth. Mindset) , Idriss Aberkane (Libérez votre cerveau)
Checking them out. Thanks
One of the best parts of being a parent is how much there is to learn!
What began as a few parenting books has blossomed into a small parenting library that covers a range of topics: parenting, child development, learning, food, and family.
Here are some of my favorites:
https://www.learningbabies.com/parent-resources
I am reading Free to Learn by Peter Gray. thank you foe sharing the great list here