What's wrong with my landing page?

Hi Lena,

I agree with Jay, definitely use less text.

Here are 3 things I would do specifically for the above-the-fold text, but they’re true of all of your copy.

Header

For your what core desire does it fulfill?→ what core fear does it help them avoid?

What are users’ first reason for NOT buying your product?→ tell them why they’re wrong (like you would in a 1:1 conversation)

Write that in 3 sentences for your header: Core desire, fulfilled. Core fear, avoided. First objection addressed.

Should be 9-12 words

Repeat this basic framework for each of your features too, but your feature headers should have 5-8 words.

Subheader

How does your product provide value?

• Use specific feedback from your users
• Specifically, what features provide the value you mentioned in the header?
• and what features or functionality answer their objections?

Write those answers in 1-2 sentences.

CTA

Cut down the number of words to 5 and phrase the copy as

action + biggest value

I’d suggest:

• sign up for 100 free tactics
• Get 100 free growth tactics
• Copy $MM tactics for free

Take out the copy below the CTA, if people want to learn more, they’ll scroll, but the goal is to get them to click the CTA, so don’t make it easy for them to get distracted and scroll instead of click.

I created a landing page copywriting worksheet in Notion that will help you re-write the copy in <2hrs using your own customer's words to increase conversions.

Let me know if you have any more questions! Happy to help. :)

@sophia_oneal & @jaymie Wow, I love your feedback, I am very grateful for your commitment, it exceeded my expectations! I passed all the info to people responsible for the website and they are digesting it right now. I will definitely share with you the end result or any questions from the team.

By the way - we at DigitalFirst.AI have a tool for marketers / growth hackers where you can share and monetize knowledge and tips like this. You need to buy access for this, but in return for help, I will be happy to open a higher tier for you for free, just create an account here: app.digitalfirst.ai and mail me with your login e-mail address. Let me know here or at lena@digitalfirst.ai.

Thanks again !!!

This is pretty straightforward to fix, in my opinion. It's definitely a case of "less is more". If I were you, I would:

• cut some stuff from the page - you don't really need to emphasise that you can filter tactics. In fact, pick your 3 favourite features and just showcase those (I suggest favourites, implement tactics, and the funnel one)

• Those text on each CTA is way too much. You've got a good hook - just make it "Get the tactics" or "Get my free tactics"

• I'm not a fan of carousels. I would put these 5 sample tactics on a separate page and link to them with something like "Here's 5 tactics to get you started" - demonstrating value.

• I'd cut the first sentence from the paragraph in the hero section - it says the same thing as the title. Start with "We've deconstructed..." (except say "broken down" rather than "deconstructed").

• Are there actually limited slots available? This seems unlikely, unless they're sponsored free accounts. If you want to add urgency, why not say "Limited time only" instead?

• Cut "You will" / "You can" from the start of each of the four boxes in the Tactics Library section and they'll sound more dynamic and interesting.

• Generally, you take too long to say something. e.g. "The beauty about having all this knowledge in one place is that it saves you time and effort." could be "Everything you need [to grow your business] in one place". For even fewer words, cut the bit [in brackets].

• Testimonials: Are these real testimonials? Put the users' job titles, so we can relate to them and what we do for a living.

• "The opportunity to take your business further is just a click away!" -> "One click to start growing your business."

Hope that helps,

Jay