What's your "why" as a parent?

I've done some heavy thinking on why I'd been wanting to become a parent. My answer has come down to this:

To become a better version of myself while helping a tiny human build his personality from scratch.

This mission trickles down to me and my husband's values, and then to the day-to-day interactions we have as a family.

Maybe something like this:

• Parents' mission: The answer to why we wanted to become parents.

• Family values: How our mission will manifest itself (i.e. transparency, humility, generosity, integrity, trust, respect).

• Daily interactions: What will our daily interactions be like so that we do not diverge from our mission?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting a corporate approach to parenting. No, I don't expect to see a written mission statement from you! :)

It's just... If we were to run a billion-dollar business, we would care about our mission, come to understand our strengths and weaknesses and make sure our business thrived with every small daily action we took.

Why don't we do the same in our parenting?

The answer might be that parenting is the heaviest of all jobs inducing constant self-judgment, guilt, exhaustion, and worry.

Amidst trying to make a living, manage social relationships, nurture marriages, and put food on the table, coming up with a mission goes way below in our list of priorities. Most of the day-to-day interactions end up turning into fire-fighting.

But if we set our minds on parenting consciously, if we succeed in not sacrificing our mission to life's hurdles, it can make all the difference in the world.

For example, in one of my recent articles about children's memory I talked about the research finding that in families where mothers communicated elaborately to their children on a daily basis, children ended up having more vivid childhood memories. One quality of day-to-day interactions resulted in a massive outcome.

Can enjoying parenting make mission-driven parenting easier? There's a good chance.

Do you have a parenting mission or an answer to the question: "Why did you become a parent?"

I'd love to know!

I send a letter every Saturday for parents like me to pause, reflect, and learn. This post was an excerpt from the last issue.

I combine insights and ideas from mindfulness, neuroscience, and psychology around a weekly theme.

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