Why I optimize when I should be scaling: the rejection loop

just listed Lotiam on Crunchbase, set up Apollo.io, and sent 17 personalized cold emails to Amsterdam hostels.

but I'm going to be honest: I'm scared of rejection.

so instead of waiting for responses and pushing harder, I keep going back to the code. "this feature will be better," "this UX needs polish," "let me optimize this." it feels productive. it's not.

it's avoidance.

the real blockers aren't technical:

• LinkedIn account permanently banned
• TikTok shadowbanned with 0 organic views after months of daily videos
• Google Ads never worked (finally figured out the tracking issue)
• no clue how to actually distribute a location app at scale

so I pivoted to B2B instead of fighting those walls. that part was right.

but now I'm in reverse: I improve code instead of pushing through the silence while I wait for hostel replies. silence feels like failure. improvement feels like progress.

neither is true.

the hard part isn't building Laura, OnFoot and Triply. it's staying in the market conversation long enough to not give up.

so: sent the emails, set the system (Apollo follow-ups), and now I have to sit with the discomfort instead of disappearing into code.

if you've been here — scared, optimizing instead of shipping, isolated from channels that should work — I want to hear what pulled you out of it.

lotiam.dev