Would you critique my landing page?

I made a video roast for you:

https://youtu.be/IVCZUoABeXs

Hi Joe,

First I want to tell you 2 things...

1. It's a great thing that you've pushed your idea to the public.

2. it is also not easy to ask for feedbacks and critique to your precious.

One thing you need to know however is this:

When you are new/unknown... no one want's to listen to you...

No one cares about.

So how do you get their attention? By talking about them.

I didn't find that on the first sentence on your site... it was all about your product.

So I will ask you one question.

What will jolt your target audience from their slumber and say today is the day I want to use Nodepath? It's a struggle.

That's what you should start with.

An example for Indie hackers:

"Are you frustrated of having no one to encourage, motivate you on the journey of being a Founder?

Do you wish you have a buddy where you can bounce idea and support one another when the energy is down...."

The idea?

Start with people's problem that you can connect with your product.

Stay away from leading with benefits. People are skeptical asf these days.

Hey Joe, nice start on the landing page, just a quick comment or 2 ..

That first section (right at the top) should really include in bold * THE PROBLEM * you are helping your target market solve. And then, if it's not clear why that problem needs to be solved, the * BIG BENEFIT * of using your app (to solve it).

People on the web are busy, and we've usually only got a few ( 3 to 8? ) seconds to hook them to keep reading / scroll down.

I'm no copywriter, but here's a start .. e.g. "Instantly re-connect with all people who are important to you, by never ever forgetting the details which matter to them." Nodepath .. ..

Hope this helps. Good hunting!

Hi Joe. Took a look at your landing page and I think in general it's a great start and more detailed examples of how the app works would be helpful. RIght now it's hard to understand what problem it solves for who exactly and how the solution works. Added some more detailed thoughts here:

https://app.instacap.co/zE9aqeu44bUuNChex8U2ClnzHwW2/FviSJXCii2wgDQ128x4Qq

The first thing that came to my mind was: I don't manage important dates on spreadsheets. I use Google Calendar to remind me when important events/dates are. So I wasn't really interested in reading more.

I recommend making less assumptions on how people solve the problem you're trying to solve, and find ways to highlight why it is amazing instead (versus focusing on why the thing they use today sucks)

Great start. I like the problem you are trying to solve.

Here is what I felt looking into the landing page the first time. It wasn't simple to understand so I started scanning quickly from top to bottom and found it a little inconsistent. The problem wasn't felt.

You can interview a few of the audience who are using 'Personal Relationship Management' tools and get the language from them. It will be authentic and will clearly speak about the problem from the get-go.

Many times, I fail to recollect the names of the people I have come across. Usually, this happens when I'm not in frequent touch. So I was looking at how would I recollect the name of the person? How would I retrieve the name and the persons' details? This was missing. There could be similar ones for others. You can write a copy for one of the common problems.

If it is my problem, the hero section copy could be 'We help people remember names and faces" and add relevant 'illustrations'.

Also, consider a friendly brand name. The node path looks very tech-focused. Tech audiences may relate it to an automation tool. Hope it helps.

Best wishes! Let me know when you launch.

The first section is truly important. Perhaps something like this? Hope it is helpful to you!

Hi Joe! Great idea. Just discovered your post in search. I'm doing personal relations management tool too. Would be glad to exchange some thoughts and experience in the field. Please, let me know if you are up to connect.

Short feedback: you could make the "Submit" button a bit different. Align it in the middle of input and make bigger. So it would look more like "number one action you want user to do here".
There can be more examples with how people of different professions/lifestyles could use personal relationship management. If you don't target the startup founders specifically, other scenarios could benefit various people.

Looks nice & simple. Made 'Join wait list' as a button.

Please critique mine: https://buymeadomain.com

I think the h1 'Get to know your friends better' or something to that degree, rings a bit more clearer.