Would you hire me if you visited this, landing page?

by Ayomide Joseph

So guys, I'm a direct response SaaS copywriter and for a while now I haven't had time to work on my website due to clients work and thereof.

Finally decided to work on both the design and copy. Now, for the record, I'm not a web designer or any sort.

I simply watched a few YouTube videos and got Elementor pro to do the work so I might not be killing the design plus (it's also under construction)

But, talking about the copy, what do you think?

I'm used to reviewing and giving tips about other people's copy but when it comes to your personal project there might be some certain things you'd neglect.

So, let me know what you think of https://josephayomide.com

My goal was to deviate from the usual "freelance writer" website and make something worth the attention.

Ayomide Joseph

on November 13, 2020

Say something nice to mide_writes…

Post Comment

3

Hello!

I actually like the design. As other people have said before, I don't think I am very clear on what exactly I would get from you. My understanding is that you would write the text that I would then display on the landing page of my Saas website, is that correct?

I like the free call button, and I would consider calling you to get more details. I tried to click on the "Or learned how I do it" but it was not a link. I honestly would remove it, it's a bit confusing. It also attract the attention away from your CTA.

I like the flow of the page. I am not in this situation right now, probably not before a few weeks, so I can't say exactly how pressing of an issue this will be for me. My point is that I will know if I am in this situation because your description of your target customer is exhaustive.

I like the portfolio and about pages.

The text below the in house marketer is still a lorem ipsum!

The "No, growth is not important to me right now" text sounds a bit aggressive to me. I have a hard time thinking of a situation where growth would not be important for an indie hacker, but I can think of a lot of reasons why they would not use your services (not ready, don't have the money, not interested, have more pressing issues, not convinced, etc.).

Those are my two cents, hope it helps!

nakurai

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1. 1
  
  @nakurai
  
  Thanks for the breakdown. Thanks a lot.
  
  The "learn how to do it" is detailed post on how I use my framework to help SaaS companies write blog posts, landing pages, emails, explainer video scripts, etc.
  
  For now I'm still writing, and trying to get quotes from industry leaders so might take a while. Plus I've got few clients working with me.
  
  I guess I should remove it since the post is not up yet.
  
  Fixed all others you said. Thanks again for the feedback. ☺
  
  Ayomide Joseph
  
  ·
  6 years ago
  ·
  Reply
2

I think it’s super great. All the content is there. Just work on making that mobile experience better.

Best of wishes!

BraydenTW

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1

Hey there, overall, it looks nice and simple. Only two points is that you need to simplify your first heading (so people can directly understand what you do exactly) and push the testimonials one or two sections above.

TDajani

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1. 2
  
  Absolutely! would work on that later tonight @TDajani
  
  Ayomide Joseph
  
  ·
  6 years ago
  ·
  Reply
1

yes

devAdam

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1
Hey Ayomide, great effort, here's my two cents:
- At a first glance, I don't get who you are and what you do. I would mention in the first chunks you're a conversion copywriter.
- Do you know the awareness stage of your ideal prospects? Do they know what an unique value proposition is? Just to make sure you're using the right language o reach them.
- I like this "Are you ready to take the guesswork out of your SaaS, and drive actual growth?" and I would put it somewhere at the top.
- The photo you have makes me think more of a gamer, not a professional copywriter with systems in place. (ooops)
- I'd keep only one CTA: Schedule a free call. Drop this as it's confusing me - Or learn how I do it (…also free)
- I like this section: What to expect when we work together
That's all :) Hope it helps.
alex_uifalean

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1. 1
  
  Thanks @alex_uifalean
  
  I'd implement all you've said and now that I look at the picture (of myself) you're right. And yeah I'm partly a gamer.
  
  I'll remove the "learn how to do it" from there.
  
  I'll draft out new headlines. Based on popular opinion, most people have to scroll before they get it.
  
  Yes, I do know the awareness stage.
  
  Ayomide Joseph
  
  ·
  6 years ago
  ·
  Reply
1

The CTA "Schedule a free call" Or learn how I do it (…also free) is not clear to me. Do you want to teach about copywriting? Also, from your post it seems like it's a copywriting service. But while filling out your form I got a bit confused about the offering. Anyways, I've filled out the form and would love to chat.

Subro

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1. 1
  
  Already sent you a mail. Thanks @Subro
  
  Ayomide Joseph
  
  ·
  6 years ago
  ·
  Reply
1
I echo a lot of what other people have said, but based on your landing page and the content, I'd say yes, however the /book-a-free-call honestly would put me off.
- The title with the triple !
- The image of the typeform
- The type form looking out of place
  That type of thing puts me off, I'd personally prefer a pre-populated email template, or just direct to the typeform, would be interesting to see what other peoples thoughts are.
TeaRott

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1. 1
  
  Oh okay. I'd fix that later tonight.
  
  Thanks for the honest feedback @TeaRott
  
  Ayomide Joseph
  
  ·
  6 years ago
  ·
  Reply
1
Love how you've managed to find a niche - not many can do it! So kudos to that.

About the site, a few things:
- I'd take the animation off the header - it currently doesn't fit well given the layout but it also distracts the messaging. It takes my eyes off the main message you want to convey.
- Though I see you've tried to connect the sections together, I get lost towards the end. Consider following the StoryBrand layout. I could help you if you need in this area.
- Try to include a pricing section if possible - remember your targeting SAAS business owners ;)
BlueprintSites

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1. 1
  
  Hmmm @BlueprintSites
  
  The idea of the pricing is quite good. I'd implement that.
  
  I'm rewriting the header completely and removing the animation. Checked my analytics and I see that it's causing the page to slow down and also increase bounce rate.
  
  About the Story Brand Layout, I would love if you could help. ☺
  I'll send you a DM
  
  Ayomide Joseph
  
  ·
  6 years ago
  ·
  Reply
  1. 1
    
    Sure thing @Joe_UrSaaSGuy - here's an article from the author himself which I feel would be a good starting point.
    
    https://buildingastorybrand.com/lay-out-an-effective-home-page/
    
    BlueprintSites
    
    ·
    6 years ago
    ·
    Reply
1

Some parts look a bit odd. Like a personal logo, emoji, the changing text in the header is not on the same line as the rest of the sentence. And what is a purpose of passive aggressive texts like "No, growth is not important to me right now"?

strzibnyj

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1. 1
  He @strzibnyj thanks for the feedback. ☺
  
  I'll work on the logo and improve it.
  
  For the changing text, I'll work on the padding and see how I can get it on the same line.
  
  For the "No, growth is not important to me right now" is just a, way to seal the offer, but now that I think of it, maybe it's way too aggressive.
  
  Thanks once again for the feedback.
  Ayomide Joseph
  
  ·
  6 years ago
  ·
  Reply
  1. 1
    
    I suggest you to think if you really need a personal logo though. Is it a Joseph Ayomide LLC.? Or are you a freelancer? I guess I understand the inner urgency when you are a graphic designer, but for others, personal logos are weird even if done well. Just use a nice font and it's done.
    
    strzibnyj
    
    ·
    6 years ago
    ·
    Reply
    1. 1
      
      Logos aren't really a thing for me. I'm more concerned about the copy of the page because I'm a direct response copywriter.
      
      Also, I'm a freelancer not like LLC or something like that. Well, maybe in about 2-3 years I might begin an agency but for now, no.
      
      What's your thought on the copy as a first time visitor?
      
      Ayomide Joseph
      
      ·
      6 years ago
      ·
      Reply
      1. 1
        
        It's not my style honestly. It's all over the place, and with the styling you used I am like watching a TV shopping ad.
        
        I would personally tone it down.
        
        If I should point out something that I find really bad then:
        
        Or learn how I do it (…also free)
        
        It's underlined without being a link and the (...also free) is just weird.
        
        I don't want to be harsh, just giving you something to think about :).
        
        strzibnyj
        
        ·
        6 years ago
        ·
        Reply
        
        2
        
        Lol @strzibnyj
        
        It's all good. I'll implement all what you've laid down.
        
        Thanks for the breakdown. Really appreciated. ☺
        
        Ayomide Joseph
        
        ·
        6 years ago
        ·
        Reply
1
I would definitely hire you because you're a fellow IH ;)
- As mentioned, change the margins.
- Elementor's animated text moves the spaces between paragraphs and the button up and down on a mobile screen. You might want to make it fit properly on mobile.
- Having super low attention span, I only read the header and the description before the CTA button and I feel that you can do better appealing to potential customers.
- Do you think that your audience of early / growth SAAS is too generic?r
HenrySav

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1. 1
  Hey @HenrySav thanks for the feedback. ☺ Go go! IH
  
  I'll work on the margins, and make it fit properly on a mobile screen.
  
  My target customers are early, and growth-stage SaaS companies. Based on my experiences with them, they are the ones who have the most problems when it comes to lead generation, customer acquisition and retention .
  
  I don't think it's too generic. If you were niche down and get more specific, what would it be like?
  Ayomide Joseph
  
  ·
  6 years ago
  ·
  Reply
1

Looks good I would reduce the width of the header section, looks odd at the moment.

Also if you're looking to get off slow WP https://developers.google.com/speed/pagespeed/insights/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fjosephayomide.com%2F (25/100)

I have a great offer for you, just email me.

volkandkaya

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1. 1
  
  Oh thanks! I sent you an email. ☺
  
  Ayomide Joseph
  
  ·
  6 years ago
  ·
  Reply
1

Probably not. And it's nothing against you - I just don't know any hard facts. In the growth industry, numbers rule all. I did a page search for a "%" symbol and nothing was found. I want to know what % you increased sign-ups, sales, decreased churn, etc. -- if someone wants growth they want tangible examples.

mrgone

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1. 1
  
  I have case studies sitting on my computer here, I'll upload them later on. Thanks a lot. 🙏
  
  Thanks @MrJustinF
  
  Ayomide Joseph
  
  ·
  6 years ago
  ·
  Reply
0

Hi jo,

Feedback: Include testimonials at the begining...

I just made wannahireme.com that helps you get hired through your side projects..check it out...

ContemporaryApe

·
6 years ago
·
Reply
1. 1
  
  On it now. Thanks for sharing.
  
  Ayomide Joseph
  
  ·
  6 years ago
  ·
  Reply
  1. 1
    
    don't forget to upvote my brother...May you succeed in all your nobel endeavours...
    
    ContemporaryApe
    
    ·
    6 years ago
    ·
    Reply