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98 Comments

Write your landing page headline, Let's comment on each other. 🧣

Hey folks, a clear headline increases conversion and I experienced that in the last couple of weeks. Damn Important part of your landing page.

Now let's write our website headline, and check if it's easy to understand and does it attract to go sign-up or book demo with you (Whatever the CTA).

Here's mine:
"Add community discussions to your website"

I changed it recently from
"Elevate your customer experience" to "Add Community discussions to your website".

Let me know what you think. Write your headline, and I will leave a comment. 🍕

  1. 2

    "Quick Timelines. Easy Planning."

    https://peachyplan.com

    What we really really want (and don't have) is a good subhead - a paragraph below the headline.

    1. 2

      I don't really understand what is it that you do. Need much direct messaging.

      1. 1

        I think you're right.
        We have been operating on a theory of "Show, don't tell".
        But frankly, I don't think it's effective.

  2. 2

    "The All-In-One Toolkit for Productive Meetings"

    But considering changing to:

    "The All-In-One Toolkit for Running Successful Meetings"

    What does everybody think?

    https://meetopia.io

    1. 2

      Hey, I get the problem you solve, love your product UI. But I don't understand what your product actually does. My guess is meetopia will keep track of the agenda. @paul1664

      1. 1

        Thanks for the feedback - I need to keep refining.

  3. 2

    Logology - The Logo Maker for Design Lovers

  4. 2

    getdevinsight.com: Cut Development Costs and Management Overhead

    @Deepak09 I definitely prefer your new headline as it highlights more clearly what you offer.

    1. 2

      I get the problem you solve, which makes me curious to read the subheadline or paragraph next. But you have got to make sure you explain to me there how you do it.

      1. 1

        The subheadline is:

        DevInsight saves hours of management time and wasted development costs by analysing your codebase and providing actionable and clear suggestions on areas for improvement

        Maybe a bit long? Not sure, just testing it out.

  5. 1

    https://www.keepsolid.com/goals

    Stay on top of Business Goals
    Set Goals, Plan Strategy, Involve Your Team, and Achieve Big Results. Manage the future with our Leading Goal Management Software

  6. 1

    "Track your diet as easily as texting a friend" - https://lotty.me

  7. 1

    This is pretty exciting @Deepak09

    Here's mine: A curated directory of 90+ tools for virtual events, webinars, social gatherings and Hackathons.

    Website: Virtual Mojito

    Excited to hear your feedback

  8. 1

    "The smart & fast way to fix your AWS headaches" - https://getjaws.com/

    Let me know what you think!

  9. 1

    "Never search for dev news again."
    https://daily.dev/

  10. 1

    "Dating apps are crap.
    We made one that isn't."

    www.elatedate.com

    Aim is to appeal to an audience of single women frustrated by how bad dating apps are with a bit of a cheeky tone of voice, but worry that it's never good to be negative.

  11. 1

    https://topicplay.com

    Right now it is:

    :::: Welcome to Topic Play ::::

    and below that the description:

    Topic Play improves the experience for watching and finding educational videos!
    It ranks playlists and channels by popularity for different topics.

    Should I change it?

    I'm thinking of changing the headline to: "Discover educational videos"

  12. 1

    buildfaster.co - Amazing themes are right around the corner

  13. 1

    mumble.fm – Podcast management and analytics for independent podcasters

    1. 1

      What if you said "Indie podcasters" instead 😉

  14. 1

    MediaMarkup.com - Share, review, markup & approve PDF, image and video files online.

    1. 1

      I don't see myself using the service, but will probably recommend it at the first opportunity.
      It's one of the most straightforward headline I have seen in a while. And after seeing the landing page, it's even better displayed than I thought. Congrats !

      I would be curious to know how many iterations you went through before reaching the current state ?

      1. 2

        Hi @domoon

        Thanks for your comments, much appreciated, if you are referring to the tag-line? I have been trying to reduce the length of the tag line constantly, the domain name and tag line should try and say what it does, I think this helps a lot.

        1. 1

          I hope it's okay to ask.
          following this thread I changed the headline of my project. I would love to have your opinion on it !

          datapeek.org : Find opportunities for data-oriented content marketing
          on Hacker News

          1. 1

            Sure, happy to try and help..

            Looking at your site again, here are some ideas for thought, based on some of your own words...

            Find content on Hacker News for marketing opportunities

            Data-mine content on Hacker News for marketing opportunities

            Match content on Hacker News for relevant marketing opportunities

            Hopefully others can also provide some feedback.

  15. 1

    Start swapping your art to reach out more people

    1. 1

      This headline made me curious. Do you have a link ?

      1. 1

        Yes, of course. It is an early beta version. wpdemo.justgreen.in/as/home.php

        1. 1

          It's a good idea ( minus some practical difficulties I guess ) ! Are you a painter yourself ?

          1. 1

            If you are interested, I write art blog at helinaik.com

          2. 1

            Yes, I am a programmer and an artist as well.

  16. 1

    CrowdProducers.com 💜 Free viral product launch platform
    CrowdProducers.com 💜 Get resources you need when you need them

  17. 1

    Formito.com: Create Chat-style Forms; no-coding required.

  18. 1

    Shorten, Personalize and Track your Links. - Blanq https://blanq.io

    1. 1

      Is it a URL shortener? I am not sure though.

  19. 1

    I have been toyingwith the headline for http://datapeek.org

    "Find Hacker News comments to illustrate with your data"

    1. 1

      For me it's confusing. I am not sure what to illustrate with your data really means in here.

      1. 1

        I changed the subtext a bit to add more context. You can take another look if you want http://datapeek.org/ . Let me know what you think !

        By "illustrate" I mean to add some context to a comment, using data you are privy to. It can better support or contradict the point being made.

        I think that anyone who has a website, or is offering a service, is privy to some kind of insights on her users behaviour. And that it can be used for marketing. But it is a longer discussion :)

      2. 1

        same here... took a look and not quite sure what it means.

        1. 1

          I changed the subtext a bit to add more context. You can take another look if you want http://datapeek.org/ . Let me know what you think !

          And I wrote some more on the sibling comment.

  20. 1

    Really good initiative with this post 💪

    At the landing page for Sigmetic the headline is:

    Explore the trends of your software team

    1. 2

      ( It's a great initiative indeed ! @Deepak09. )

      I think, It puts quantitative figures on the dynamics of your development process/team. Is that it ?! If yes, it is super cool :)

      1. 1

        Yes, that's pretty spot on 😁
        Thanks a lot 😊

    2. 2

      Thank you... I am not sure what "trends" mean here. Maybe because I am not too technical.

  21. 1

    "The new standard in SEO Rank Tracking"

    SEOwl

    1. 1

      Maybe its just me but I would like to see what benefit would I get to using your service or tool in the headline. Perhaps others can chime in.

  22. 1

    So you went from vague to something really specific that you do. I did something similar but I still feel I need to improve it.
    From "Participate in the news that matters to you" to " Save time in arriving at a balanced opinion"
    If you want to take a look: takhttps://concordapp.in/

    Let me know what you think about it.

    1. 1

      Save time in arriving at a balanced opinion [on the news]
      Would that make it even more clear? Might be too wordy.

      1. 1

        It is too wordy, agreed. I'm working on it and meanwhile taking feedback from the users to understand what exactly do they resonate with.

    2. 1

      I do like the change you made in here, I am able to personally connect with your solution.

  23. 1

    "You have the idea, we have the people" https://gozealot.com/

    We're a startup that has focused on providing Engineering Teams as a Service to other startups.

    1. 2

      Just my opinion by people sounds a bit vague. How about "You have the idea, we have the team to build it"?

      1. 2

        Great feedback! Thank you. Updated :)

  24. 1

    Passportlist is detailed list of visa-free, visa on arrival and visa required countries you can visit with your passport.

    1. 1

      Cool website! Didn't know I could visit so many countries with my existing passport.

  25. 1

    Headline: User Authentication & Passwordless In One

    Subtitle: Unlike existing services, we verify users with their email/phone number. The identity is first confirmed before accessing accounts.

  26. 1

    Show your product during the call. Use Prezcall.
    Send a Prezcall link and start presenting in seconds. Presentations, PDF documents - whatever you want.

    https://prezcall.com/

  27. 1

    At https://audiobookreader.app/
    "Listen to over 14000 audiobooks for free. No Ads; No Subscriptions"

    Its a google home/ google assistant app that plays audio books that are in public domain

  28. 1

    SaaSFrame.io: Inspiration for SaaS Marketers & Product Designers

  29. 1

    https://toonclip.com - Create animations in minutes

    Example animation below:

    Toonclip - Word of the hour

  30. 1

    Optimal Entrepreneurship.

    ©

  31. 1

    afrisurvey.com: Get quick survey responses from targeted African consumers.

  32. 1

    One Page Templates Made With
    Bulma, Tailwind & Bootstrap 5.
    Ready To Use In Minutes.
    For startups & personal use
    https://www.wickedtemplates.com

    1. 1

      My 2 cents: it's hard to understand the value you provide only from it.
      We know what you do, but not why you do it: what problems do you solve by providing these ?
      I'm guessing, developer experience, configuration skip, technology choices and so on. I think your headline should at least suggest this.

      Another thing too : reading your headline made me think that your templates included Bulma AND Tailwind AND Bootstrap, and I wondered for a few seconds why on earth you'd want 3 html/CSS frameworks in the same project.

      Maybe you should try to focus less on the technology choices and more on the value working with your templates actually provide! Would make your visitors relate instantly to your problems (and believe me, having worked as a front-end dev for a few years, I know about them)

      1. 1

        Sorry Ben, I deleted the notification by mistake and i couldn't find you....

        You are right, it doesn't says why. I will work on it and I shouldn't use & but or.

        I am not a native English, so sometimes is a bit difficult. Even using Grammarly...

        Do you mean to not mention which framework they are made with?

        May I ask you, as a developer, would you use them?

        Thanks a lot Ben.

        1. 1

          Well in my opinion, the fact that these frameworks are made with Bulma / Bootstrap / Tailwind is NOT what makes their value. You should tell your visitors why they are valuable, what they will gain for choosing your templates other building things themselves.

          I could use them indeed, if I was in a rush, or for quickwins I guess. I did exactly that for my current project, but starting from a free template coming from the Gatsby community.

          1. 1

            That's true, I changed it now...but I am not happy with the copy....
            Ok, I get it. ... i am going to have a look at them...

            Maybe if I put them cheaper?

  33. 1

    Here's my landing page headline:

    Simple, fast, and privacy-friendly customer support messenger

  34. 1

    I am testing two different headlines:

    1. Handpicked Remote Jobs
    2. Remote Jobs You Actually Want

    There are a number of remote job boards, but after speaking with a few remote workers, I realized most job boards pride themselves in having the "most" jobs.

    I'm trying to differentiate this by having high-quality jobs. No shady work-from-hom gigs, etc.

    In addition to sharing job posts, I use simple NLP to extract skills for jobs and help job seekers identify the skills they should highlight in their resume.

    I go into the detailed motivation here: https://www.prospercircle.org/about

    Would love feedback on the headline and any suggestions to better capture the information I shared https://www.prospercircle.org/about in the headline.

    Thanks a lot.

    1. 2

      the word "handpicked" convey most of the value proposition to me, so I would probably keep it. Maybe" handpicked remote jobs for your profile" or something like that ?

      1. 1

        thanks @domoon. That is what I thought, but feel i need to refine this further.

    2. 2

      I ll go with the first one

    3. 1

      "having high-quality jobs" - I'm not sure if that comes out of any of headlines you're testing. To gain high-status remote workers, headline should represent this itself,right?

      What do you mean by high-quality jobs? What difference as a user can I expect? What makes you special so I click? Are those handpicked remote jobs? Not sure if your handpicking suits me... Who are you to decide about the quality? Don't get me wrong :) I'm thinking as a user who doesn't know you and is in the moment of clicking / reading or skipping :)

      I'm thinking how stand out with your differentiation. Maybe with the price?

      Some inspiration from free head :) :

      Remote jobs only >10k / month
      Choose what's best... From the best!
      Remote & Reliable - verified / well-chosen jobs for you!

      1. 1

        @Jacula - this is very helpful. Thank you for taking the time to review it.

      1. 1

        Helpful. Can you please elaborate why you feel 2nd is better?

    4. 1

      Hi, subjective opinion here. First one doesn't sound good to me, as you might have different criteria than me when selecting jobs. So it gives the impression that you're filtering and only keeping what you think others should have access to. Even if that's how it works, it doesn't sound positive.

      Second headline doesn't resonate neither. My thoughts when I read it are "how do you know what I actually want, when you don't know who I am, my skill set" etc.

      However what you say in your next lines: No shady work-from-home gigs -> This is something that would attract me more. So I would highlight the handpicked/curated aspect in this manner, by suggesting that the companies offering jobs are checked and trustworthy.

      Curious to hear what others think about the two headlines! :)

      1. 1

        Thank you @andreeamaco for taking the time to review the website and share your thoughts.

        I'm also struggling to find a good punchy headline that captures the value prop.

  35. 1

    Hi @Deepak09,

    I like the change. It's clear what your product does. A few suggestions:

    1. Make it clear how your product adds community discussion to your website. For example:
      "Add community discussions to your website by adding a single line of javascript to your site."
      "Add community discussions to your website with our chat widget."

    2. Describe what benefits the user gets. The words "so that..." are good for this. For example:
      "Add community discussions to your website so that your users can answer technical support questions for you."
      "Add community discussions to your website so that you can generate social proof by featuring customers who talk about how they use your product."

    These phrases don't need to be part of this sentence. It could be a following sentence, but I recommend adding it near the top.

    @Deepak09, was this helpful? If so, then I think you'll like my website, SplashPad (https://getsplashpad). SplashPad helps you write about your product in ways that attract attention and sell by suggesting language while you write. The current version focuses on helping you write marketing emails, and we plan to expand to landing pages soon.

  36. 1

    Hi Deepak, what is your site? 'Add community discussions to your website' tells me a bit about what your app/product does, but I don't think it raises enough curiosity to pull someone in. Maybe something like 'Is your website lonely? Install xxx and make your site the coolest party on the block'. (Without knowing more about what your service does, it's a bit difficult to provide relevant ideas)

  37. 1

    I 100% think that your change was a good one. Super clear what you're providing.

    Mine is, "A VC network without the VC." but I'm considering some alternatives:
    "Speed dating for founder friendships"
    "Optimized networking for the busy founder"
    "Upgrade your network"
    "Networking for founders in a rush"

    Or something else. Not totally sure.

    It's a site where you meet 3 founders for 1 on 1, 15 minute video chats every week.
    https://joinhivemind.com/

    1. 1

      Hi Zak, really great idea. Here's a quick video with some feedback. http://somup.com/cY10FpQwKn

      1. 1

        Hey, thanks! That was super helpful. I'll be implementing those changes.

        1. 1

          Glad to be of help. Let me know if you'd like another review after you make the updates.

      2. 1

        Apologies for the sound quality.

    2. 1

      "It's a site where you meet 3 founders for 1 on 1"
      Subheading: 15-minute video chat every week.

      This sounds cooler.

  38. 1

    Without Automated Appointment Reminders, small businesses with $126,000+ in yearly revenues had losses of $26,000 due to missed appointments, cancellations and no-shows.
    https://aitoehigie.wixsite.com/appminder

    1. 1

      Hey Pystar,

      2 cents here: the headline makes me curious, but I'd rather be curious on a positive feeling than a negative one. Same goes for your subline: "without Automated Appointment Reminders..."

      You could flip both to "Do you know you could win 26k/yr" and "With Appminder, ...", and it would also make the storytelling more fluid into the "How it works" section.

      On another note, the first product name I'm seing is "Automated Appointment Reminders" and it's way too complicated imho. Appminder seems like a much more understandable name. If you still want to include the generic title, you could go with something like "With Appminder, use automated appointment reminders to prevent missed appointments, cancelations and no-shows and avoid loss of your precious prospects" or something along these lines!

      And lastly, I feel like there is too many numbers in both your headline and subline, making the understanding of the whole bunch complicated. In your place, I'd remove the "with 126k+ in yearly revenues" bit, as it clogs your pitch and automatically kicks potential customers out the door if they don't match this number.

      1. 1

        Thanks for that review. It kind of words the headline and CTA in a positive light which with the benefit of hindsight is better.

    2. 1

      I think this is your headline though "Do You Know You Lost $26k in 2019?".

      The headline makes me curious, and then the subheadline clears how. I get the problem now. But I don't see how you solve it though. Really hard to put everything in two lines, but yeah that's what I felt 😅

      1. 1

        I guess I need to work to work on that and flesh it out more.

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