Pitch Bitch

Hull IH

I'm Alan, from Scotland. I've spent 25+ years in startups, raised millions myself, and it was never, ever easy.

The thing that always got to me: when an investor passed on a deal, I almost never found out why. Sometimes I'd get a vague "come back when you hit £X revenue." Most of the time, just silence.

So about 13 years ago I started doing something small. Founders would send me their deck, I'd read it page by page, blind, ignoring anything I already knew about them, and just tell them the truth. My only fee: a beer, and only if they actually raised. That was the whole model. Being unpaid up front meant I never had to soften anything to keep a client happy, I could just say what an investor would actually think.

I did that for over a decade. Then AI got good enough that I could actually scale it.

Pitch Bitch reviews your deck the way a real investor does: cold, slide by slide, no memory carried between slides, so each one has to stand on its own. Then a closing verdict, Roadworthy, Needs Work, or Roadblock. It's built with a Scottish voice, and it swears (aimed at the slide, never at the founder), because that's genuinely how the original version sounded, and it's stayed that way on purpose.

It's free, no card, no signup wall for the first go. If it ever helps you raise, you owe us a pint, same deal as always.

Would genuinely love feedback from this community, especially on the tone. It's not for everyone, and I'd rather know that now than pretend otherwise.

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