The Roast Machine
Three AI judges roast your website with specific, funny crit
... This is Week 1.
The Roast Machine (https://brightsparks.ai/roast-machine) — paste any website URL and three AI judge personas tear it apart:
🎨 Valentina the Design Snob — visual design, UX, branding. She sighs a lot. 📈 Marcus the Growth Hacker — conversion, SEO, messaging. Gets genuinely agitated by weak CTAs. ✨ Sage the Vibe Check — trust, authenticity, gut feeling. Will tell you if your site feels like "the guy at the party who corners you to talk about his podcast."
Each judge scores out of 10 with observations that reference actual content on your page. Then you get three actionable suggestions.
It's free, no signup required.
The build: Next.js + Claude API (Sonnet), deployed on Vercel. About 15 hours across four evening sessions. The code was the easy part — prompt engineering the judge personalities took more time than everything else combined. Getting them to feel like three different people rather than three copies of the same feedback bot required a lot of iteration. The breakthrough was forcing every observation to reference specific page elements and giving each judge verbal tics and signature phrases.
What I'd do differently: I spent too long on the UI before the prompts were right. The prompts ARE the product — should have polished those first and left the styling until the end.
I'd love feedback from this community:
Try it on your own site — were the roasts specific enough to be useful?
Were the suggestions things you could actually act on?
Which judge roasted you hardest?
Next week I'm shipping Product #2. Thinking either an AI prompt generator or a business idea evaluator. Open to suggestions.
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