Let me ROAST your sales emails (and offer an alternative)
Post your sales emails (cold outreach, sign-ups, follow-ups etc) and some information about your company and I'll offer some feedback and an alternative based on the data I collected and my experience!
I'll take up on your offer. I have recently started offering web design, with 2 projects under my belt (family & friends), I'm now trying to reach out (cold emailing) to other people who could benefit from a new website.
My process is - Find a bad website on the internet, see if they will benefit from a better website, if yes, find the main guy's email and send them a mail.
There are two templates that I have created.
First one - 10 Sent, 6 Open (Yes, I read your post about this, don't shake your head), 1 reply.
https://pastebin.com/cGGNRUwr
Second one - 0 sent, 0 open, 0 reply. (I just created this yesterday because I wanted to try sending video audits instead of writing them in an email)
https://pastebin.com/jry1NB3F
It hasn't been long since I started doing this so the data is pretty less. It would be awesome if you can roast these to hell.
Thanks Victor!
alright @JustARandomGuy let's do this, and thank for participating! As you can see, I've been SWAAAAAMPED with replies :D
In an effort to be as detailed as possible, I focused on email #1
here goes :
What was wrong with your email:
What you want to do:
Here's a suggestion:
Subject: Sniffing new clients
Hello McAwesome,
I saw that you have 4.8/5 with 750 reviews on Yelp, and as a dog owner, it really helps me trust you with my Daisey.
What doesn't really build trust though is your website. Your future clients typically check your online presence to decide whether or not they'll call you, and there's a chance you might be missing out here.
Have you considered revamping your site to attract more customers?
My clients usually see a +23% increase in business in around 90 days.
If you're in a position of accepting new clients, would you like to chat?
Worst case, you'll finish the call with actions you can take to improve your current website and attract more customers.
Looking at it from hell, it looks like I went into the "I can run your business better than you" zone whereas what I wanted to be in was "your customers would be happier with a better website, and here are some reasons why" zone.
Thanks for the great feedback, Victor!
absolutely! a better website? what are the implications? looks better? don't care! I need either more time or more money :D