May 25, 2019

Roast My Landing Page

Steve Recio @steverecio

I just redid all my marketing copy and I'm looking for honest feedback. Let me know what you think!

  1. 3

    Hey @steverecio,

    A few questions for you to help clarify the copy.

    1. Who is having trouble with collecting documents?
    2. What's not easy about it?
    3. What negative effect are they experiencing by not collecting these documents the way you're proposing?
    4. If your potential customer were to call you on the phone right now, what would they say they need?

    Right now your hero copy doesn't speak to any problem that REALLY needs to be solved. It doesn't speak to any benefit. "Made easy" is subjective. Easy relative to what? If I, as a customer, left your landing page without signing up, what pain would I experience?

    Your CTA button also doesn't tell me enough information. What happens when I sign up? What benefit is there to signing up? Am I going to be free from the hassle of following up with people to get signed documents back so that I can continue business? Tell me what the benefit is.

    "Sign up now" is a little lackluster. It's the new "Submit" button.

    Your CTA is also inconsistent. In the nav, it's a ghost button that says "Get Started". In your hero, it's a green button that says "Sign Up Now". At the bottom of the page, it's a white button that says "Sign Up Now". Visually, you want to connect those dots. Guide people towards a single action with a single verbal and visual cue.

    The "Send Requests", "Set Reminders" and "Get your Files" are all features, not benefits. What is the benefit to each of those features. Write for the benefit driving the feature.

    Your last CTA casually and subtly introduces a benefit that isn't stressed anywhere else - "Don't let your customer data fall into the wrong hands". That feels pretty important.

    Overall, the design does it's job but I can't feel the customer in this page at all. I can't understand what the core benefit is. I think people would have a hard time connecting to the copy.

    1. 1

      This is the feedback I needed. For context, the customers I'm trying to target are routinely collecting sensitive financial information such as mortgage brokers, insurance agents, real estate offices, banks, etc. They typically have a standard set of documents that they need to collect from each client in order to do business. Assuming they do a lot of business, they want to automate the collection process to some extent.

      Let's say you're applying for a home mortgage. Right now the broker emails you asking for a scanned copy of your ID and birth certificate, your last two years tax returns, pay stubs, bank statements, etc. You send them back two of those items. Later you send them another email with another piece. They then have to put all those documents together, track anything that's missing, and keep on top of you until you've sent everything in and they can process your application. Even worse, this process may happen with physical paper due to the fear of sending things over email. Now imagine they have to repeat that process with a handful of clients. You can see where things can get lost, clients forgotten about, etc. With my site, they can create a template for what they typically ask for and send a request. If anything is skipped, the client will get reminders until everything is submitted. All the documents are in one place and everything was sent securely instead of via email. You can even upload your own encryption keys for end-to-end encryption.

      So that's the basic profile of my target customer. The question now is how I articulate that more eloquently. I think you hit the nail on the head about my copy focusing too much on the features and not the actual benefits or use cases. Here's some benefits that I'm thinking now as I brainstorm:

      • Close more deals
      • Process applications faster
      • Onboard clients safely and quickly
      • Don't let customers fall through the cracks

      I'd also like to create a Solutions dropdown in the navbar where I can link to pages that explain each particular use case more granularly.

      1. 3

        That hit everything that I was missing. I'm not your customer but I HATE piecing together multiple emails and email threads into a cohesive document.

        Your biggest benefit is letting people focus on their business rather than chasing documents down and organizing disparate emails/communications.

        Write from that perspective and I think you'll connect with your customers.

        This is a bit long but it captures the emotion and puts the reader in the scenario that you are trying to solve:

        "Wouldn't it be great if you could finally focus on your work, instead of pulling your hair out while hounding your clients for documents that they should have sent last week?"

        One benefit to this style of headline is that it relates to your customer and puts them into the "Yes" mindset right away.

        If you don't like the question approach, try something like:

        "Imagine if you could finally focus on your work, instead of pulling your hair out while asking your clients for documents that they should have sent last week"

        Same effect. It addresses the problem. Following up on document collection is a pain in the ass. Our system will handle it for you.

        Follow up with a sub-headline that talks about having to stitch together multiple disparate communications to really illustrate the pain of dealing with this.

        Then, write about the benefit to using your automated messaging, etc.

        All of that copy should be guiding the user down to the sign up.

        Once you nail that user journey, then focus on whatever design needs you have.

        Hope that helps.

        Good luck and I hope this takes off.

        1. 1

          Thank you so much. You've really helped me to narrow down my line of focus. I feel like I have an actual framework to go forward with now. Thanks again for all the help here.

          @csallen how can I give out gold stars?

  2. 2

    Your hero height is huge - you have a lot of space from Sign Up Now button to the scrolling arrow. I would shorten it a bit.

    The Get Your Paperwork Faster text should be the same size as the Security First text. Get Your Paperwork Faster move down, give it more space it's too close to the border top hero blue.

    1. 1

      I've been working on a small laptop so I didn't notice how weird the hero looked before. I might change that to a more modern design soon to utilize the space better.

      Yeah good call. I'll bump up the text size on that section as well. Thanks!

      1. 1

        I'm a UI/UX designer but I still design a bunch of landing pages for my current company -always testing copy, hero images and CTA's. Feel free to reach out whenever you want more feedback.

  3. 2

    Everything looks pretty good.

    I think the only things I would change are:
    your images of the laptop and phone are too close to the blue background section. I added some padding and I think it flows better:

    Your navbars width, I would just throw some space in there. Also, I think you could get away with some pricing models on your landing page, but not really needed.

    Nice job!

    1. 1

      Thanks! I just gave the navbar a maxWidth (I'm working on a 13-inch laptop screen so I never noticed it before!). I had actually placed the images right near the top of the blue so that it would look like they were sitting on a surface but maybe it doesn't quite work like I had imagined haha. I'll play around with it a bit more. I might move the mobile screenshot up into the hero section anyways.

  4. 2

    Some quick tips

    • Reduce width off navbar
    • Remove FAQ and Contact Us from the Navbar.
    • Would add an image under or to the right in the header section.
    • Add pricing?
    • Move FAQ below pricing if you add it.

    They're the quick wins.

    1. 1

      Ok I gave the navbar a max width of 1290px. I like the idea of FAQ below the pricing table. I noticed a few other sites do the same (although it does make the FAQ a bit harder to find). I've noticed a recent trend with landing pages to have the hero text on the left and an illustration or screenshot to the right. I'll play around with the idea to see if I can get something that works. Thanks for the feedback!

  5. 1

    I haven't read other replies so apologies if i'm covering old ground

    1. "Document collection made easy"
    • I have literally no idea what this means. Paper documents? (are you a shredding company?)
    • Who is your customer? is it me? I dunno?
    • What's the problem you're solving?
    1. "Our automated reminders ensure you receive all required documentation on time"
    • Required for what purpose?

    Also you have what is referred to as a "false bottom" - this is where the entire screen is filled by one element and it looks like there is nothing to scroll down for. I saw on the third or fourth look at the page that there is a tiny down chevron... this is far from obvious.

    I think you really need to hammer home that hero copy so that it is completely obvious what problem this web app is solving, and for whom.

    And believe me... this is not an easy thing to do. You'll go through probably many iterations.

    1. 1

      No problem, fresh eyes are good. Is this hero text more clear?

      "Stop Chasing Client Documents - Pipefile enables streamlined collection of financial and otherwise sensitive documents for business professionals"

      I explained the customer profile in more detail here:

      Effectively, I'm trying to target businesses that collect things like tax returns, copies of your ID, etc in order to onboard or qualify customers (insurance, mortgages, business loans, real estate, etc).

      Yeah I need to completely redesign the fullscreen landing to make it more clear that there is more info below (pretty much all of which I'm attempting to rewrite now). I agree that chevron is hard to see. I need to redesign the page so that's not even needed. (Edit: Here's something I put together quickly:

  6. 1

    what is a drip campaign?

    1. 1

      Good point. Maybe I should simplify the language. A drip campaign is just a series of automated emails until some action is completed. My site will send automated reminders to your client until they've uploaded everything in your checklist. Drip campaigns are usually used within the context of sales (ie send emails to the mailing list until they register or upgrade).

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