Abstenence

Most habit apps are designed to keep you coming back.

Mine is designed to make you actually change.

When I built Abstenence, I made one non-negotiable decision: A+ Mode is always on. You can’t turn it off. And that’s the entire point.

What is A+ Mode?

It’s the brutal discipline engine that removes every loophole I (and most people) used to exploit in other apps.

Here’s exactly how it works:

• No passive tracking. You can’t just leave the tab open in the background and pretend you’re consistent. Close the tab = you’re logged out.

• Tight check-in windows. You have only 30 minutes to submit your daily status once the check-in period starts. Miss it and the day clears.

• No resets. No edits. No selective deletes. What you do is permanently recorded. After 21 records, the oldest one auto-deletes so you can’t endlessly cherry-pick your history.

• Short grace period after challenges end. You have a limited time to log your final Pass/Fail. Miss it and the record disappears — no excuses.

• Everything is intentional. The system forces active decisions instead of lazy background streaks.

You pick what to abstain from (nail-biting, doomscrolling, alcohol, cursing, etc.), pay the $2 commitment fee, choose 2/3/5 days, and go. Succeed → clean PASS and real momentum. Fail → you lose the $2 and get a FAIL on your record. No do-overs.

That small amount of real money + the strict rules creates consequences that free apps simply can’t match.

Why I made it this strict

I got tired of apps that optimize for retention instead of results. They let you reset streaks, gamify everything, and give you endless second chances — which feels nice but changes nothing.

A+ Mode was built for the moment when motivation dies and your brain starts looking for escape hatches. It closes them all.

You can still run multiple challenges at once, even on different devices. Progress stays private in your browser only (no cloud, no tracking). And for people who want the philosophy without the full strictness, I made an offline Abstenence Activity Book.

Early results

Users are saying the same thing I felt while testing it:

• “The accountability actually hits different”

• “Short challenges feel finishable instead of overwhelming”

• “Finally building real streaks instead of fake ones”

It’s not another endless habit tracker. It’s high-intensity discipline sprints with skin in the game.

If you’re a builder, founder, or anyone who’s sick of lying to themselves with free trackers, this might be the system you’ve been missing.

Try it here: https://www.abstenence.com/

I’d love raw feedback from the IH community:

• What do you think of the A+ Mode rules — too strict or just right?

• Would you pay $2 (or more) for real accountability?

• Any loopholes I should close even harder?

• What habit are you struggling with right now that normal apps haven’t fixed?

Let’s talk discipline tools that actually work.

I’ve used a lot of habit and productivity apps over the years.

At some point, I realized something uncomfortable:

Most of them weren’t actually changing my behavior in a meaningful way.

They made me feel productive… but not necessarily become more disciplined.

Where gamified habit apps fall short (for me)

Apps like Habitica are great at one thing:

They make habits feel fun.

You complete tasks, earn rewards, level up a character, and see progress visually.

And for a while, that works.

It helped me stay consistent with small routines.

But over time, I noticed a pattern:

• I could miss tasks without real consequences

• I could restart anytime

• I could “game” the system emotionally without changing much in real life

It felt like progress… but it wasn’t always real discipline.

That gap started bothering me.

Because in real life, discipline doesn’t work like a game.

The real problem: no stakes

The more I thought about it, the clearer it became:

Most habit apps remove consequences.

And without consequences, everything becomes optional.

If you skip a habit:

• Nothing really happens

• You don’t lose anything meaningful

• You just continue tomorrow

That structure is fine for beginners.

But for people trying to break serious habits or build strong discipline, it can be too soft.

I wasn’t struggling with motivation.

I was struggling with follow-through under pressure.

The idea: what if habits had real commitment behind them?

That question led me to build something different.

Instead of another gamified tracker, I started experimenting with a pay-to-commit system.

That eventually became a web app called Abstenence.

The core idea is simple:

You don’t just “track” a habit.

You commit to it.

How Abstenence works

Users choose a short challenge — typically 2, 3, or 5 days — and commit to a specific habit goal.

It could be:

• quitting a habit

• avoiding distractions

• or even enforcing a positive behavior

To start, users pay a small commitment fee.

That changes the psychological framing immediately.

It’s no longer:

“I’ll try this habit”

It becomes:

“I’ve invested in this commitment, so I need to follow through”

At the end of the challenge, you either pass or fail.

There’s no soft middle ground.

Why I added the pay-to-commit model

The payment isn’t about revenue first.

It’s about psychology.

When something has no cost, it’s easy to abandon.

But when there’s even a small commitment involved, your brain treats it differently.

It introduces:

• accountability

• loss aversion

• and seriousness around execution

It forces a shift from intention to action.

Introducing stricter structure (A-Plus Mode)

As I kept building, I realized another issue:

Even with commitment, systems can still be “gamed” if they’re too flexible.

So I experimented with a stricter operating mode called A-Plus Mode.

In this mode:

• Sessions are not endlessly persistent

• Leaving the app can log you out

• Challenges are time-bound and strict

• Progress cannot be casually edited or manipulated

The goal wasn’t to punish users.

It was to reduce loopholes that make self-deception easy.

If the goal is real discipline, the system shouldn’t quietly allow avoidance.

A surprising insight: habits can work both ways

One interesting thing I didn’t expect while building this:

The same system can be used for both removing habits and building them.

Instead of saying:

“I will read every day”

You can structure it as:

“I will not skip reading for 2 days”

So failure is defined by inaction.

It turns positive habits into something with accountability, not just intention.

What I’m learning building this

Building Abstenence has made me rethink what habit tools actually do.

There are roughly two approaches in this space:

1. Motivation-based tools

   • streaks

   • rewards

   • gamification

2. Commitment-based systems

   • consequences

   • constraints

   • accountability

Both have value, but they solve different problems.

Motivation helps you start.

Commitment helps you finish.

Where I’m going with this

Right now, Abstenence is still early.

I’m focusing on:

• making the challenge flow simple

• keeping the system strict but usable

• and testing how people respond to commitment-based habits

The long-term idea is not just to build a habit tracker.

It’s to build a system for short, high-accountability discipline challenges.

Something that sits between:

• habit apps

• and personal accountability contracts

Final thought In My Head

I don’t think gamified habit apps are useless.

They’re actually great for getting started.

But at some point, I needed something different.

I didn’t need more motivation.

I needed a system that made follow-through unavoidable.

That’s what led me to build Abstenence.

Two years ago I was stuck in the same loop most of us know too well:

• Download a habit tracker → feel motivated for 3 days

• Miss one day → “I’ll just reset the streak”

• Repeat forever, never actually changing

Free apps made it too easy to lie to myself. Streaks felt good but meant nothing. I needed skin in the game.

So I built Abstenence — a dead-simple pay-to-commit abstinence tracker.

How it works (no fluff):

1. Pick something you want to stop (or start). Examples: no scrolling, no nail-biting, no alcohol, no gossip, no cursing… or use the “double negative” trick to force positive habits (e.g. “abstain from NOT exercising” = you must exercise every day or you fail).

2. Pay $2 as a commitment fee.

3. Choose 2, 3, or 5 days.

4. A+ Mode is on by default and cannot be turned off. This is the brutal part that actually works:

   • Close the tab → you’re logged out. No leaving it open in the background.

   • You have only 30 minutes to submit your daily check-in or it clears.

   • After the challenge ends you have a short grace period to record Pass/Fail — miss it and the record disappears.

   • After 21 records, the oldest one auto-deletes (no cherry-picking your history).

   • No resets. No edits. No bullshit.

Succeed → you keep the momentum and earn a clean “PASS”. Fail → you lose the $2 and get a “FAIL” on your record. No do-overs.

That $2 stings just enough to make you actually care.

Progress lives only in your browser (private, no cloud, no tracking). You can even run multiple challenges at the same time on different devices.

I also made an offline Abstenence Activity Book for people who want the system without the strict A+ Mode.

Why I built it this way

Because most habit apps optimize for retention, not results. They want you to feel good and keep coming back. I wanted an app that forces real discipline even when motivation dies.

The short challenges (2–5 days) make it doable. The money makes it real. A+ Mode removes every escape hatch I used to use on myself.

Early users are already reporting small but consistent wins:

• “Finally building momentum instead of endless resets”

• “Short journeys feel actually finishable”

• “The accountability hits different when money is on the line”

Indie Hacker angle

This is a solo project. Revenue comes purely from the $2 commitment fees (lost on failure). No subscriptions, no upsells, no data selling — just pure commitment mechanics.

It’s not trying to be another long-term sobriety or habit monster. It’s high-intensity discipline sprints for people who are tired of lying to themselves.

If you’ve ever wished a habit app would actually hold you accountable instead of coddling you, give it a spin: https://www.abstenence.com/

Would love your honest feedback — especially from fellow makers who’ve struggled with the same “free app → zero change” cycle.

What’s one habit you’ve been failing to kill with normal trackers? Drop it below.

Also open to thoughts on pricing, A+ Mode rules, or ways to make the whole thing even more brutal (in a good way).

Let’s build better discipline tools.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how people try to build discipline, especially around habits like porn addiction, junk food, procrastination, etc.

And I realized something interesting:

Most people confuse celibacy and abstinence — but they actually lead to very different outcomes when it comes to building discipline.

The difference I noticed

Celibacy = a lifelong identity shift

“This is who I am now.”

Abstinence = a short-term structured challenge

“For the next 2–5 days, I’m in control.”

At first, they sound similar — both are about self-control.

But in practice, they behave very differently.

Why celibacy often fails for most people (in practice)

Celibacy requires:

• long-term identity consistency

• constant willpower

• no clear checkpoints

The problem is that there’s no structure for recovery when you slip. One mistake often turns into full failure.

It becomes heavy psychologically because you're trying to be “perfect forever.”

Why abstinence feels more effective

Abstinence is:

• short-term

• measurable

• repeatable

Instead of “I must never fail again,” it becomes:

“Can I stay consistent for just 3 days?”

That shift makes discipline feel achievable instead of overwhelming.

And once you complete one cycle, you just repeat it.

The key insight

I think discipline doesn’t come from big lifelong identity decisions.

It comes from repeated short wins that are structured and measurable.

Where this gets interesting (for me as a builder)

I’m exploring this idea in a product called Abstenence — a pay-to-commit system where users take short abstinence challenges (2–5 days) with real stakes.

The idea is to make discipline more “real” by:

• adding commitment (financial + psychological)

• removing loopholes

• making outcomes clear (pass/fail)

Basically turning discipline into something you complete, not something you try to maintain forever.

Curious what others think:

• Do you think discipline is better built through identity (celibacy-style) or systems (abstinence-style)?

• Have you seen people succeed more with long-term commitments or short structured challenges?

• Does removing “escape routes” actually help or make things too rigid?

Would love to hear different perspectives — especially from people building habit, accountability, or behavior-change products.

If you’re building—or using—self-improvement products, you’ve probably noticed something:

Most habit apps don’t fail because of bad UX.
They fail because they don’t change behavior.

That’s why comparisons like I Am Sober vs Abstenence are more interesting than they look.

On the surface, both help users quit bad habits and stay consistent.

Underneath, they’re built on completely different philosophies of behavior change.

And if you care about building products that actually work—or finding one that does—this difference matters.

The Two Models: Support vs Constraint

Let’s simplify.

Most apps in this space fall into one of two models:

1. Support-driven systems

These help users:

• Track progress

• Reflect on behavior

• Stay motivated

• Feel encouraged

This is where I Am Sober shines.

It’s clean, focused, and built around awareness + accountability.

2. Constraint-driven systems

These do something different.

Instead of helping users feel better, they:

• Introduce friction

• Remove flexibility

• Enforce consequences

That’s the category Abstenence is exploring.

And it’s still relatively rare.

I Am Sober: What It Gets Right

I Am Sober is popular for a reason.

It lowers the barrier to entry and focuses on consistency through:

• Daily check-ins

• Streak tracking

• Community reinforcement

• Emotional reflection

For early-stage users, this works well.

You’re building awareness.
You’re noticing patterns.
You’re starting to take control.

From a product perspective, it’s:

• Low friction

• High retention (early)

• Easy to adopt

Where Support Systems Break

But here’s the problem most Indie Hackers already understand:

If your product doesn’t create consequences, users can ignore it.

With I Am Sober (and similar apps):

• Missing a day = lose a streak

• Relapsing = reset

• Skipping = no real penalty

So behavior becomes optional.

Users can:

• Delay action

• Restart endlessly

• Stay in a loop of “trying”

This is great for engagement metrics.

Not always great for outcomes.

Abstenence: A Different Bet

Abstenence takes a very different approach.

Instead of asking:

“How do we support users better?”

It asks:

“What if we removed their ability to avoid action?”

That leads to a few bold product decisions.

1. Pay-to-Commit (Skin in the Game)

Before starting a challenge, users pay a small fee.

This isn’t about monetization first—it’s about commitment.

Behaviorally:

• Free = optional

• Paid = intentional

This leverages loss aversion:

People are more motivated to avoid losing money than to gain progress.

From a product standpoint, it’s interesting because:

• Revenue is built into the core loop

• Commitment is front-loaded

• Drop-off becomes psychologically costly

2. Short, High-Intensity Challenges

Instead of long streaks, Abstenence uses:

• 2-day

• 3-day

• 5-day challenges

This reduces overwhelm and increases completion probability.

It also shifts the mindset from:

• “I need to be perfect forever”
  to

• “I need to execute now”

For builders, this is a clever reframing of retention:

• Not long-term streak addiction

• But repeated short-term wins

3. A System That Doesn’t Trust the User

This is where it gets controversial—and interesting.

Abstenence introduces strict rules (often called A+ Mode):

• Sessions don’t persist

• Delays reset progress

• Missed confirmations erase results

Users can’t:

• Edit history

• Delete specific failures

• Passively stay “on track”

In other words:

The system assumes users will take shortcuts—and removes them.

This is the opposite of most UX philosophies.

But it aligns with real behavior.

4. No Fake Data

Many habit apps allow users to:

• Clean up their history

• Hide bad days

• Maintain “perfect” streaks

This improves user satisfaction.

But it distorts reality.

Abstenence enforces:

• Binary outcomes (pass/fail)

• Limited history (auto-removal)

• No selective editing

From a data integrity perspective, it’s brutally honest.

5. The Double Negative Insight

One of the more interesting mechanics is how Abstenence handles building habits.

Instead of:

• “Do this habit”

It reframes it as:

• “You are not allowed to skip this habit”

Example:

• Not “read daily”

• But “don’t skip reading for 2 days”

This turns:

• Optional behavior → rule-based behavior

And rules tend to outperform intentions.

Product Philosophy: Motivation vs Enforcement

At a higher level, this comparison becomes:

• I Am Sober → motivation + awareness

• Abstenence → enforcement + consequence

Both are valid.

But they target different failure points:

• Motivation systems fail when users don’t feel like acting

• Enforcement systems fail when users reject strictness

So the real question is:

Where do your users struggle more?

For Builders: What’s Actually Interesting Here?

If you’re an Indie Hacker, there are a few takeaways worth noting.

1. Monetization as Behavior Design

Abstenence doesn’t separate pricing from product.

Payment is part of the habit loop.

That’s a powerful idea:

Charge not just for access, but for commitment.

2. High Friction Can Be a Feature

We usually optimize for:

• Less friction

• Faster onboarding

• Easier usage

But in behavior change:

Friction can increase follow-through.

Abstenence leans into this.

3. Short Cycles Over Long Streaks

Instead of optimizing for:

• 100-day streaks

It optimizes for:

• Repeatable short wins

This could lead to:

• Better completion rates

• More consistent engagement cycles

4. Designing for Reality, Not Ideal Behavior

Most apps assume:

Users will try their best

Abstenence assumes:

Users will avoid discomfort if possible

And designs accordingly.

That’s a subtle but important shift.

So, Which One Is Better?

It depends on the user.

I Am Sober is better if:

• You need support and awareness

• You’re early in your journey

• You benefit from reflection and community

Abstenence is better if:

• You want strict accountability

• You’re tired of restarting

• You respond to pressure and consequence

My Final Thought

The “best app for discipline” isn’t just about features.

It’s about what forces behavior change.

Most apps help users track who they want to be.

A few systems push users to act like who they say they want to be.

Abstenence is an interesting example of the latter.

And whether it becomes mainstream or stays niche…

It highlights something important for both builders and users:

If nothing is at stake, nothing really changes.